Healing Our Nation Requires the same skills as blending a family

Healing our nation is similar to healing a large dysfunctional family that has been devastated by a divorce. One parent drops out, the other moves on, remarries and the children and/or families whose lives have been in upheaval, are left confused, wounded, hurt, and angry. In the aftermath of the chaos that has lead to the event, everyone breathes a temporary sigh of relief. The waiting game is over. The sense of being in limbo ends. In this case, there is no more boring chad analysis blaring from TV. The moment we have a President designated, it means an action has occurred, and resolution is in sight. Then, reality hits, and people's veneer of patience and politeness falls away, disappointment, frustration, recriminations surface and Monday morning quarterbacking begins. Pent up feelings; the darker side of human emotions seek release. The new parent, or in this case the President is immediately faced with one of the most difficult tasks in human relationships, blending a family or in the vernacular of political parlance forging a new alliance. An added difficulty for the President will be that the whole world will be watching (and commenting) on his attempts to heal our Nation. Whoever leads our nation will start without the usual force of a large faithful following. In fact, the pied piper's followers may well contain a historic share of a raggle taggle exhausted and disgruntled following. Many will feel that the victor has claimed his place of honor through chicanery and unethical means. Voters will experience distrust, and mistrust and though “Casey may not have struck out at bat, there will be minimal joy in mudville on inauguration night.” How does a blended family begin to heal? How does a nation mired in muck, recriminations and pain begin its journey towards becoming whole? With all its flaws and imperfections, the strengths of our democratic nation have been on display. Rioting, cannons, and military force have not been required. Caught between apathy and tolerance our population has shown remarkable patience with minimal disruption of daily life. True, the stock market's gyrations have symbolized our internal unrest and unease. But, that too can ultimately pass. This is a time when character, our President's and ours, is important. Our leader, whomever he may be, must not “stoop to conquer”, but understand he is in his position of leadership by a fluke. Therefore, he must quickly start to earn his leadership stripes by setting out clear agendas, listening to bipartisan voices and honoring that he must show “good stuff' before he will gain the requisite acceptance he will require to be able to truly lead More than ever, we have need for political as well as personal interdependence. Republicans and democrats will have to learn to listen, hear and communicate. The house and senate must work towards synergistic products resulting from many views, burying the hatchet whenever possible. Partisan alignments may no longer work and room must be made for bipartisan bridges. Congressional members may have to break ranks on one issue and return to the fold on another. A politics of personal conscience as opposed to politics of party line is called for. We the people, have responsibility as well. While we may be suspicious of who sits in the oval office, we cannot keep fighting for four years about what should have been. The new concepts of win-win require a paradigm shift and we must take the necessary steps to make this shift happen. While we must continue to honestly voice our accolades and disagreements, we cannot let our emotions tear down potentially beneficial programs out of anger and bitterness. Instead we must put our brains to work for the greater good of all. Personal pain and disappointment may be expressed, but blame is useless and damaging. If anything, the age of deification of the leader as a demigod has been and is long over. If we want something to happen we must speak up, our voices must be heard. Expecting one man to be perfect or to govern perfectly is an illusion. If nothing else, this election has shown us how vital it is to vote for who and what we want, to speak up for what we believe and to lobby for programs that we care about.. We have a voice. More than ever, we need to use it. Healing our wounds requires going beyond our ghettos or gated communities, and acknowledging that we live in a diverse country. We are a multi racial, economically diverse society with different needs and certainly different political agendas. The key to healing on both a personal ad politician level will be commitment to wanting to heal, acknowledgement of conflict and learning how to resolve it. We need to have concern and caring for more than ourselves. Cooperation is paramount. Blending a family is always an arduous task requiring more patience and perseverance than anyone involved ever anticipated. Healing our nation will require these same skills. This column's for you, Dr. D. Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

On The Couch with Dr. Dorree Lynn FAMILY LAW Advisor® HOME PAGE These articles are provided for informational purposes only. No materials posted here are intended to constitute medical advice, which by necessity, must relate to each person's individual situation. This site does not constitute a patient-professional relationship. You are urged to seek help from a local mental health professional concerning your specific circumstances. No information or materials posted here are intended to constitute legal advice, nor can we guarantee the accuracy of posted information, especially as to each individual situation. LawTek does not independently check the information contained herein and does not refer or endorse any product, service, or firm. This site does not constitute an attorney-client relationship; local counsel should always be consulted. © 2000 LawTek Media Group, LLC all rights reserved

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