Synopsis: The Italian poet Dante Alghieri, in The Divine Comedy, describes a mid-life crisis as finding oneself lost in a dark forest in the middle of one's life, the pathway having suddenly disappeared. Development through life is a dynamic process with a variety of changing roles, hopes, expectations, and demands that sometimes confuse us and cause us to temporarily lose our bearings. When our expectations are not fulfilled and, particularly, when our peers are moving toward achievements that we perceive ourselves unable to achieve, a disequilibrium occurs, and we may need help returning to the path. A good way of returning to the path is through short-term therapy. Short-term therapy is defined as a therapeutic commitment spanning one to three, six to eight, or, at maximum, twenty sessions. Whether there are six or twenty sessions, it involves a definite number of meetings and a termination date is established at the beginning. Time limited therapy usually focuses on only one or two issues and most often there is a verbal or written contract outlining goals to be accomplished within the allotted time. Short-term counseling or therapy is a good way to get help when you are in the middle of a separation or divorce, remarriage, are dealing with being an “ex” or are a single parent or in the throes of blending a family. If you find your relationship in trouble or more than you can handle, get your self walking to the nearest good talking professional. Get help reclaiming your own disappearing path.

Reclaiming The Disappearing Path

The Italian poet Dante Alghieri, in The Divine Comedy, describes a mid-life crisis as finding oneself lost in a dark forest in the middle of one's life, the pathway having suddenly disappeared. Development through life is a dynamic process with a variety of changing roles, hopes, expectations, and demands that sometimes confuse us and cause us to temporarily lose our bearings. When our expectations are not fulfilled and, particularly, when our peers are moving toward achievements that we perceive ourselves unable to achieve, a disequilibrium occurs, and we may need help returning to the path. A good way of returning to the path is through short-term therapy. Short-term therapy is defined as a therapeutic commitment spanning one to three, six to eight, or, at maximum, twenty sessions. Whether there are six or twenty sessions, it involves a definite number of meetings and a termination date is established at the beginning. Time limited therapy usually focuses on only one or two issues and most often there is a verbal or written contract outlining goals to be accomplished within the allotted time. Short-term counseling or therapy is a good way to get help when you are in the middle of a separation or divorce, remarriage, are dealing with being an “ex” or are a single parent or in the throes of blending a family. Some other scenarios might be: a single 30 year old man, finding who finds that many of his friends are becoming involved in long-term committed relationships and starting families. He may feel an increasing sense of loneliness and a heightened desire for a committed relationship. A senior ready for retirement without savings, a sense of security, or plan for how he will spend the remainder of his life may want some counseling to help him/her plan his/her financial future.. The tragic and traumatic death of her American husband left a Brazilian born friend unable to cope. Alone, in a strange country, she turned to a short-term grief group that gave her the understanding and comfort of companions to help her through that terrible time. Anyone who feels hurt by a lost love, or who is in the middle of a divorce or second (third or fourth) marriage should seek therapy to help them get through the rough transition. Jim, a well functioning twenty-eight-year old teacher, came to see a colleague of mine because he had daily stomachaches for which no physical basis could be found. His girlfriend had recently left him, and Jim felt "kicked in the gut" every time he thought of her. After six sessions his stomach aches abated, but he admitted that he felt too shy to try dating again. The therapist suggested that Jim join an eight-session assertiveness training group to learn skills that would increase his confidence. It worked, and he left therapy a satisfied man. Jim commented that he "just might come back if he confronted a fence he couldn't climb over." His brief encounter with therapy gave him hope, taught him life skills, and gave him a safe place to return to if he ever needed it. Jim was a perfect short-term therapy candidate. There are many short-term approaches to the treatment of the same psychological problem, often with comparable benefits. A good way to conceptualize this is with a physical ailment. For example, in the case of hypertension a physician may choose to treat this problem in a variety of ways. She/he may use a diuretic, beta blockers, a reduction in weight, and/or an increase in exercise, or a change in diet as a way of helping the patient control blood pressure. In physical medicine, the consensus is that a combination of these approaches is most successful in lowering blood pressure. In the same way, a short-term psychotherapeutic program that flexibly applies a number of strategies and techniques will probably be more successful than will be a very rigid and doctrinaire approach. Short-term therapies are particularly appropriate for specific relationship issues relating to life transitions such as parenthood, infertility, retirement, sex, divorce, remarriage, illness, death, job related concerns, and issues related to a move. Brief therapy may give you the boost you need, or, the experience may be so beneficial that you find yourself considering a longer-term commitment. A crisis can propel you to call your local hot line, go to the nearest mental health clinic, or ask a professional or friend for help. Short-term therapy is also an excellent place to learn stress coping methods. Additionally, for someone who has already had a successful therapy experience and just wants to maintain that sense of well being, a brief weekly or bi-weekly "check-in" session may be all that is required. If you find your relationship in trouble or more than you can handle, pick up the phone, walk or ride to a good mental health professional who can help you talk about what is going on.. Get help reclaiming your own disappearing path. This column's for you, Dr. D. Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

On The Couch with Dr. Dorree Lynn FAMILY LAW Advisor® HOME PAGE These articles are provided for informational purposes only. No materials posted here are intended to constitute medical advice, which by necessity, must relate to each person's individual situation. This site does not constitute a patient-professional relationship. You are urged to seek help from a local mental health professional concerning your specific circumstances. No information or materials posted here are intended to constitute legal advice, nor can we guarantee the accuracy of posted information, especially as to each individual situation. LawTek does not independently check the information contained herein and does not refer or endorse any product, service, or firm. This site does not constitute an attorney-client relationship; local counsel should always be consulted. © 2000 LawTek Media Group, LLC all rights reserved

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