I hear the outside door to the waiting room open, I take a deep breath and I prepare to possibly "white lie" again. It goes against my grain to do so, but I have an ethical choice: do I give the client what they want or do I give them what they need? Over the years I have come to believe, that in some instances, the end truly does justify the means. When a new patient enters my office I sometimes have been known to "fudge" the total truth" regarding how long it will take to help them. The reason is that so few of us are eager or even willing to add another commitment to our over scheduled, overwhelming daily lives. Besides, there still is an unwarranted stigma attached to long-term therapy that implies that anyone who engages in it is crazy. Experience has taught me that sometimes it is better to ease a patient into the notion of a long-term commitment to psychotherapy, and that sometimes an effective way to do this is through any variety of short-term therapy methods. While I applaud methods that reach out to help people who might not want or need anything more than brief help, or who may not have the finances to commit to longer term treatment, I continue to worry more about people not getting enough help, rather than too much. Two astonishing statistics from the National Institute for Mental Health are that every year ten percent of the population experiences some disability from a diagnosable mental illness and that more than forty percent or almost half our population will receive therapy at some time in their lives. Clearly there is a great need for short-term alleviation of immediate stress and time bounded issues. , I remain concerned that the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme, honoring platitudes and quick fixes instead of self-knowledge and fulfilling relationships. History will judge whether I am right or wrong. History too, will evaluate which therapeutic methods are most effective in improving the quality of people's lives. Iron John Therapy During the 1970's, the women's movement made women's therapy groups popular. Women requested and were responsive to everything from assertiveness training and sexual awareness groups to parenting and job market issues. Two decades later, women still phone or stop me in the supermarket or at a lecture where I am presenting to reminisce about that exciting period in their lives and to relate how much they learned from the groups I had the good fortune to lead. However, Women's Lib of the past has made life more difficult for men in the present. As women have become more empowered, and financially independent, they are less willing to accept husbands or boyfriends who are emotionally detached or hostile. Men are being dragged into therapy by the women who care about them or in cases of domestic violence, under court order. Many men seek help on their own without knowing where to go or what to do. New forms of brief therapy are rising to fill this need. This brief therapy is geared specifically for men. It starts by accepting the stereotype of what it means to be a macho man in the Bruce Willis mode and focuses first on more rational and task oriented issues before dealing with what have been traditionally less manly attributes such as vulnerability, neediness and fear. There is also a type of therapy where men can gather in groups and pound drums and be “primitive' as in days of old. Many men who would have never before considered dealing with their emotions, find these short-term methods a good place to start. It has made many women happy that they have chosen to do so and helped many relationships. If you are a couple that sees roadblocks ahead or, are in the middle of a rut, consider couples' therapy. However, guys who think therapy is for sissies should reconsider their stereotype. Good counseling can help anyone. Today, modern men have therapy tailored just for them. If you think you can benefit from such help, pick up the phone and call your local resource. Or, you can always write to me. This column's for you, Dr. D. Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

On The Couch with Dr. Dorree Lynn FAMILY LAW Advisor® HOME PAGE These articles are provided for informational purposes only. No materials posted here are intended to constitute medical advice, which by necessity, must relate to each person's individual situation. This site does not constitute a patient-professional relationship. You are urged to seek help from a local mental health professional concerning your specific circumstances. No information or materials posted here are intended to constitute legal advice, nor can we guarantee the accuracy of posted information, especially as to each individual situation. LawTek does not independently check the information contained herein and does not refer or endorse any product, service, or firm. This site does not constitute an attorney-client relationship; local counsel should always be consulted. © 2000 LawTek Media Group, LLC all rights reserved

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