Synopsis: The underlying panic of terrorism attacks remains with us still. Our most patriotic holiday, The Fourth of July, went smoothly and uneventfully (and for that we are grateful). But, for many of us, there was a hint of anxiety as we bravely went to our local mall or town center to celebrate by viewing the pyrotechnics, eating our requisite fill of hot dogs and hamburgers, dripping watermelon, and drinking soft drinks and beer. On the whole, our patriotic spirit survived undaunted. Yet, for many, the threats of danger or homicide bombings were hardly out of consciousness.

Summer time and the living is easy, or so we hope. For many of us it is a time when we manage to take off a week or two to vacation, rest, and relax. At least for those in intact families, this tends to be the norm. On the other hand, there are those families who are blended and upended, those who are single, divorced, and alone, those wondering how to date to mate. And there those who are so downright miserable that their goals are to simply survive the long, sweaty summer months. However, this year we have an added constellation to contend with. Although most Americans are trying live life as usual, statistics tell us that more people than ever are staying close to home.

The underlying panic of terrorism attacks remains with us still. Our most patriotic holiday, The Fourth of July, went smoothly and uneventfully (and for that we are grateful). But, for many of us, there was a hint of anxiety as we bravely went to our local mall or town center to celebrate by viewing the pyrotechnics, eating our requisite fill of hot dogs and hamburgers, enjoying dripping watermelon, and drinking soft drinks and beer. On the whole, our patriotic spirit survived undaunted. Yet, for many, the threats of danger or homicide bombings were hardly out of consciousness.

We wanted a holiday “lite,” and fortunately we got it. My family and I flew, as we have been doing consistently since 9/11, to visit our kids and grand kids in a small town outside of Dallas, Texas (By the way, the only state that is, by law, allowed to fly the State flag at the same height as the American flag-which gave me a whole new take on George Bush country and why Texas tends to consider itself a land apart, truly “The lone-star state”). Our son's family, one of our daughters, and grandkids from far and wide joined us for this all-American weekend. And while a darn good Texas band played wailing and rocking music into the wee hours on our blocked-off street, the neighborhood joyfully celebrated. Baptists, Atheists, Catholics, Jews, Episcopalians, Nigerians, Asian Indians, Mexicans, blonds, and brunettes, gathered together representing an American melting pot deep in the heart of Texas. The children played, we sang and danced and celebrated the joy of freedom, savoring the fact that as Americans we are truly free.

For the few moments that I was quietly alone, deep inside myself, I wondered what else could be happening in the big cities? If not today, would terrorism strike tomorrow? How were my loved ones, friends, and clients doing? Where were they, I wondered? Had I cared about them enough? Had I told them so? How was my daughter and her family who weren't able to join us? At those unbidden and unwelcome moments, I questioned “what if?” Had I expressed my love enough? What had I left undone or unsaid to those who are important to me? Yes, I snuck a peek at TV's coverage of both Washington, DC and New York City's effervescent and glorious festivities. Relieved to see the world functioning “as usual,” I returned to enjoy my smaller slice of American pie.

This July will have its usual downs and ups. For those with happy families, it will be a bit easier. And as always, for those separated from family and community, and especially for those embroiled in custody battles, dealing with shared custody, or separated from their children it will be a more difficult time. For holidays and vacation times are always just a little bit harder for those in transition. And, this summer sweats under the pall of added threat and therefore additional worry.

Who knows what this summer may bring? Let's each of us wish for next year to be a July Fourth replete with only the usual celebration, fireworks, and sense that we are blessed to be Americans who live in the land of the free. Perhaps, by 2003, we may have a July Fourth that is not covertly heavy and can be totally, overtly “lite.”

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.
Nationally Syndicated Talk Show Host of
On The Couch

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