Family Law AdvisorŪ
Frequently Asked Questions
- Oregon Life After Divorce FAQ's -
"Moving on and Moving Away"
- I was divorced in Oregon five years ago, and now I've got a great
job offer in New York. My divorce papers give me sole custody of the kids
and give my ex visitation every other weekend. What happens when I move?
Whoa, slow down. You usually can't just leave Oregon with the children
(or even move more than 60 miles away within Oregon) unless your
ex agrees, or the divorce court grants permission.
- I thought sole custody gave me the freedom to do what I want.
Not quite! Try to get your ex to agree. Give your ex plenty of time
with the children during the summer and school vacations. Offer to pay
for or share the air fare for the children to travel to and from New York
frequently.
- My ex will never agree. What do I do?
File a motion to modify the custody judgment and obtain permission to
move with the minor children from Oregon. Many judges will make you go
to mediation before hearing your contested case in court.
- What happens if we still can't agree even with the help of
a mediator?
Some counties will send you to Family Court Services for a Custody Study.
A social worker will interview the parents and sometimes investigate before
writing a summary report, with recommendations, for the court.
- If the recommendation is in my favor, then I can just move, right?
Wrong! Even if the recommendation is against your ex, he or she has
the right to ask for a trial to present the case. Oregon has a backlog
of cases waiting for trial (generally five to 11 months), so don't pack
your bags yet.
- Whoa yourself! Can't I get permission to go to New York while the
motion to modify the custody judgment is pending?
Maybe. Most counties have an emergency docket so you could have a short
hearing before a judge sooner than five to 11 months for the full trial.
- What does the court look for in these cases?
Each case turns on its particular facts. Showing the court the "clear
advantage" to you and the children of moving to New York can be helpful.
Be prepared with a logical plan for maintaining the children's access to
your ex.
- The job starts in six weeks and I have to be in New York. You just
convinced me to leave without saying anything! See ya . . .
If your ex acts promptly, Oregon will still have jurisdiction over you
and the children, even though you're all living in New York. Some Oregon
lawyers would tell your ex to file for a change of custody and suspend
all visitations for you, or ask to stop child support, or try to have you
arrested on criminal charges, such as kidnaping or custodial interference.
- Are you saying my ex can use the Oregon courts to take custody away
from me in New York?
Yup! Courts don't like people disregarding the rules, "hiding" children
from the other parent or "running away." To prevent people from dashing
in and out of different courts, most states, including Oregon, have the
UCCJA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act) In a nutshell, UCCJA says
custody cases will usually be decided by the court in the children's home
state.
- So I'm stuck with Oregon forever?
No. Once you and children live legally outside Oregon for more than
six months, the court here might not decide. Usually, the Oregon court
would defer to the New York court after the children have been in New York
at least six months.
- What happens then?
The children's new "home state" has authority to make custody and visitation
decisions.
- Even if my ex is still in Oregon?
Yes.
- Okay, but assuming I get to leave with the kids now, and they get
the urge to return to Oregon when they're teenagers, what happens then?
Frequently adolescents need a chance to leave the primary caretaker
-- you -- to live with the other parent. It happens, and you and the courts
generally have to go along with the change.
- Will I get to see the kids?
As far as the court is concerned, yes, but keep in mind that older kids
spend more time with friends than parents.
- That makes sense. I just don't want my ex bad mouthing me, and turning
the kids against me.
Of course not. Both parents should refrain from saying negative things
about the other parent within earshot of the children.
- Easier said than done. I'll try.
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