Chapter XVI
MOVING ON

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A note of caution: Changes in divorce law are constant and can occur at any time either through new legislation or new state or federal court decisions. Each year, many such changes will occur. Your best and most current information will come from a lawyer who is competent in divorce practice and who keeps abreast of such changes and who is familiar with your own particular marital history.

Preface & Introduction

Atty/Client	Married?	Jurisdiction	Grounds	Children	Sep Prop	Mar Estate	Alimony
Fees	Extrajuris	Procedure	Settlement	Trial	Misc	Shortcut	Contents

Loudenback's Lay Divorce Guide is about law. But, much more than law is involved with divorce. Your present and future mental and emotional health, and that of those who live around you, is more important to you than anything which has been said in this book.

Whatever may occur in terms of child custody, visitation, support, property and debt, your emotional and physical health is of far greater importance. At the risk of venturing beyond the author's professional discipline, these few comments may be of assistance.

• If you feel that you may cause harm to yourself or to someone else, talk with someone about it immediately. If a friend or counselor is not immediately available, many cities have 24 hour telephone "Crisis" lines, listed in the telephone yellow pages under the heading, "Crisis." One such listing in Oklahoma City is an organization called, "Contact," telephone 405-848-2273.
  

• Your time belongs to you and your future is in your hands. What you do with your occupancy of time is largely a matter of your own personal choice. If you are experiencing doubt that you will live through this time, or that you will live well after it, and certainly if you are certain that you won't, and if you want to be able to perceive the beginning which is yours to have, ask your friends for help. Accept their kindness.
  

• If more than friendship is needed, many professional counselors, both secular and religious, are waiting for you to ask for their help. Your attorney should be able to recommend someone to you, should you know of none personally. If you need and want help in seeing into the future, at least to know that one is there, ask for the help of a qualified psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health counselor. It will be money well spent by you and for you on your future after divorce.

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-- Douglas Loudenback, Esq.