Usually your mediator is either an attorney or a mental health professional who has mediation training and experience. I am both an attorney (since 1979) and a psychotherapist (since 1991), specializing in mediation (since 1991).

Your mediator must be neutral and unbiased, so he/she should not be an attorney who has represented either of you prior to mediation.

Throughout the mediation process, you can consult with an attorney whenever you think it would be helpful. With a few exceptions, however, you would seldom include attorneys in your mediation sessions since doing so could create a litigious, adversarial atmosphere in which neither of you would speak for yourself. Two of the exceptions are 1) court-ordered mediations when the court encourages attorneys to attend and 2) Collaborative Mediations in which the participating attorneys have agreed to not litigate no matter what the outcome of mediation might be.

After you have completed mediation, if your mediator is an attorney, she/he may draft the Separation Agreement. If your mediator drafts the Agreement, each of you will be encouraged to have the Separation Agreement reviewed by separate independent review attorneys before signing.

In the event your mediator is not an attorney, you will receive a Memorandum of Agreement, which a neutral attorney will use to draft the Separation Agreement.

-- Dolores Deane Walker, L.C.S.W., J.D.