|
Mediation and Divorce FAQ
What is divorce mediation?
Family Mediation is a cooperative problem solving process. It helps divorcing couples to reach an agreement that is the fairest and free of biases to both parties through the guidance and support of an impartial trained professional. It is a way for families who are splitting into parts to learn to deal with the changes in roles, duties, and opportunities and to face those changes with emotional balance. Thus, mediation is far less hostile than litigation, which is particularly beneficial when there are children involved, and is considerably less expensive than a traditional adversarial divorce.
What is litigation?
Litigation is a traditional adversarial divorce process where each party has to hire an attorney who will represent and if necessary "fight" for the divorcing parties in court. Thus, the process of divorce will depend on the lawyer’s experience and aggressiveness rather than on the couple’s best interests for themselves and their children. Communication between parties is discouraged leaving each frustrated with the other and with the entire system. Clients have no control over their lives and often when neither the lawyers nor the clients can agree to anything, the limbo for the clients becomes a nightmare from the psychological stress and exhaustion of financial resources.
Why is mediation a better way to divorce?
Mediation has become a popular method of divorce and there are many reasons for that. In my opinion, one of the most important is that when couples prepare their own agreement, making arrangements for themselves and their children rather than negotiating divorce matters with their lawyers, control stays in the hands of the couple, not the attorneys or the Courts. Therefore, it is very unlikely that such agreements are sabotaged. Research has also shown high rates of compliance with mediated agreements compared to compliance in adversarial decrees.
How long does it take?
The time varies because of the level of complexity of each case and other factors which a divorce may bring. Nevertheless, it almost always takes less time than litigating a divorce. Usually, three to fifteen hours are enough to discuss and resolve parenting, financial arrangement, and other possible issues of divorce.
Is mediation a legal way to divorce?
Mediation is an absolutely legal way to divorce. Moreover, more and more people turn to mediation when divorce is forthcoming. It is easier on children, and also a faster, and cheaper way to divorce.
Can I start mediation if I am already involved in an adversarial divorce?
Couples can choose to go to a family mediator at almost any stage before the divorce is finalized. Couples often turn to mediation services for a multitude of reasons. Frequently they find the process a better alternative when the divorce fight creates so much stress for the children it impacts their everyday life. Mediation is also frequently valued as a second chance for couples who find their resources exhausted before vital decisions are made. Just tell your attorneys to stop further work until you explore the mediation process.
Why do I need to hire a lawyer if I chose mediation?
Mediation is not a lawyer free process. However, the role of the attorney in mediation differs from the one in contested divorces. The parties are usually encouraged to obtain legal counsel for the purpose of providing answers to specific questions of law, to review the terms of their agreement from a legal standpoint, and to prepare any documents to be filed with a court.
We are very angry at each other, can we still resolve our issues through mediation?
This is a very common question. There is a notion that couples can cooperate and come to the agreement with each other only if they can get along. But if people could do it, they probably would not consider a divorce. Mediators are trained to focus the parties on solutions for the future, separate their emotions from the issues they work on, and to show people how to work together productively in spite of their anger. As long as the parties put aside their anger during mediation sessions and agree that a solution that they reach voluntarily is better than an adversarial process, mediation can be successful.
Page: 1 2
Back to Home |
