Divorce
Mediation Services
at Mediation Matters
|
Mediation Matters
offers an alternative to conventional divorce. We believe that, given help
and the opportunity, people can work together to resolve their disputes
in a way that works for the whole family. We are committed to mediation
as a healing process which helps families to fulfill their joint and individual
responsibilities in new and more productive ways.
Is there anything better
than the rule of law? Is there a realistic alternative to the
legal system? I believe there is. It is one in which results are
obtained voluntarily, and decisions are made by consensus; where
parties design the form and content of their negotiations, where
there is informality and infinite capacity for creative results….
It is one where emotions are expressed, acknowledged, and respected;
where greater concern is shown for the future than the past; where
third parties facilitate without deciding, and are empathetic rather
than neutral. It is one in which people are encouraged to act honestly,
empathetically, collaboratively, humbly, and creatively; where forgiveness
and reconciliation are encouraged; where people are allowed to be
human, direct, and open; where anyone can understand what is happening
and participate fully without professional jargon. It is one without
coercion, that encourages collaboration and permits both sides to
win. It is mediation.
― Ken
Cloke
What is divorce
mediation?
Divorce is a crisis that
threatens the well-being of everyone involved. Divorce Mediation is
a process available to help divorcing couples voluntarily work through
disagreements in order to fulfill their responsibilities to each other
and their family. They are assisted in working out a mutual agreement
on the issues which must be resolved in any divorce: parenting, support,
and the division of property.
Who is Mediation
for?
Mediation is for:
Couples who have made a decision
to divorce.
Couples who may not have
decided about a divorce, but who want a separation.
Couples with post decree
issues or disputes.
Mediation is not only for couples who agree; it is a process designed
to help any couple regardless of existing differences.
How does it work?
You will meet together to work out the major decisions raised by the
decision to divorce. Your mediator will help identify the issues you
need to resolve, and help guide you through the decision-making process
toward agreements that really work for both of you.
The mediator will then draft a memorandum of agreement for your review,
after which it is given to your attorneys for legal implementation.
The agreement becomes the basis for an uncontested divorce.
What are the benefits
of mediated divorce?
Enables individuals to emerge
from a divorce with self-respect intact.
Protects family relationships
Establishes a foundation
for continued co-parenting
Benefits children, by reducing
conflict
Focuses on the present and
future -- not the past.
Strengthens commitment to
an agreement
Is Time limited and convenient
Offers an Informal context
Avoids public disclosure
of personal matters, because it is confidential
Parties retain control over
process
Controls costs, financially
and emotionally, of the divorce process.
Is empowering
Respects self-determination
What are the steps involved?
First, the process is explained.
Then you gather the data needed for the decisions you will make. You
identify the matters you need to decide. Then you take the time to consider
available options to resolve these issues. If you are able to settle
these matters, the mediator drafts a memorandum which incorporates the
agreements you have reached.
What issues are dealt with?
Clients can choose to talk
about a wide range of concerns. But typically, couples in divorce need
to resolve:
Parenting Arrangements
Child Support
A Division of Property
Spousal maintenance
How long does it take?
Mediation varies in length depending on the complexity of the issues
involved and the readiness of the couple. While it can take less, the
average mediation involves six to eight sessions. Mediation is time-limited
and, unlike the court process, does not drag on indefinitely.
But I've already been to an attorney.
That's not a problem. People frequently want to consult an attorney when
a separation or divorce seems in the cards. Mediation is not a substitute
for the services of an attorney. Your mediator may be an attorney, but
will not represent or give legal advice to you or your spouse. You will
be encouraged to consult with your attorney - except you will be using
that attorney in a different way, as advisor rather than adversary. The
difference in that deciding to use mediation is that there you now
make the decisions that will affect your life - with counsel!
Do we need an attorney?
Choosing mediation does not mean that you will not have the services
of an attorney. We will urge you to seek legal counsel throughout the
mediation process. While the decisions in mediation are made by you,
they should be informed decisions. If you do not have an attorney, we
can help you find one.
Who are the mediators?
We are professionally trained mediators who have come to the conclusion
that there is a better way than the adversarial system provides for people
to end their marriage. We typically work in co-mediation male/female
teams.
We also have established working relations with area attorneys, financial
planners, and other specialists who are often needed during the divorce
process.
What does it cost?
Mediators charge an hourly fee that can be shared by both parties in
a way that you agree is fair. Although this process involves the services
of both mediators and attorneys, the costs of a mediated divorce are
typically less than conventional divorce. That's because you, and not
your attorneys, are doing the talking. Further, you're paying one mediator
instead of two attorneys to do that most of the time.
When both parties agree to work together toward a common goal and share
expenses, costs - including time, money, and emotional costs - are considerably
less than those of a typical contested divorce.
Why choose mediation?
Choosing mediation is choosing to take charge of your life at a point
where lots of things seem to be spinning out of control. In the face
of great uncertainty, it is choosing to set a direction and deciding
to close the door of the marriage gently rather than slam it shut!
Mediation avoids much of the damaging consequences of adversarial divorces.
Most complex divorces go on for years. Prolonged divorces deplete assets,
entail expensive professional services, appraisals and legal fees, interrupt
business, and interfere with parties' opportunities for personal growth
and their desire to get on with their lives.
Are there cases that shouldn't be in mediation?
Mediation works in many more situations than you might imagine. However,
in situations where parties are unable to assert their needs or do not
feel free to speak their mind without fear of consequences, mediation
may not be appropriate.
I'm very angry now! (We can't even talk to each other!)
It would be unusual if you weren't angry! Divorce is, unavoidably, a
highly disruptive experience. Mediation is not just for people who are
already cooperating. Mediation is often most helpful when you and your
partner are having trouble talking on your own.
The question is not how you feel now, but where you want to go. Do you
want to end up in a no-holds-barred battle, or do you want to get to
some end to this? Would you like to find some resolution that would allow
you to move on to the rest of your life, without bitterness or regrets?
If so, we can help you get there.
How
do I get started?
To find out if mediation is appropriate for you, call us at 301-581-0330
or 800-905-2221 to discuss your concerns. If it seems appropriate,
we will set up an orientation session for you where you can learn more
about mediation and to decide whether this process is the way you and
your partner wish to use to work out your separation or divorce. |
