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How to File for Divorce in Maryland -
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Chapter 1: Marriage and Divorce MARRIAGE – A STEALTH CONTRACT Unless you had a prenuptial agreement when you got married, you entered into a stealth contract that you probably didn’t even knew existed. The contract consists of hundreds of pages of law and cases for the jurisdiction where you live. It a major undertaking involving children, support and property. And you are presumed to know all of the terms of this contract, because you will be held to them. Also, the contract is not very intuitive. It is different from any other contract you may have signed. For example, your pay is no longer your pay, but becomes marital property, which is distributable by the court upon divorce. If you start a business during your marriage, and it becomes successful solely through your efforts, you will probably have to buy your spouse out upon divorce. If your spouse breaks the contract and wants a divorce, he or she may still get half, and you may have to pay your own attorney fees and your spouse’s as well. We all get married till death do us part and for better or worse. We have hopes and dreams of a long future together. No one expects to get divorced when they get married. This stealth contract may never affect you, as long as you stay married. But it will govern if you ever get divorced. COMMON LAW MARRIAGE Although you can get married in a religious or civil ceremony, you have to obtain a license from the government. In some states couples can be married without a license by living together and holding themselves out as husband and wife. This is called a common law marriage. Maryland does not recognize common law marriages. MARRIAGE COUNSELING Even though we are divorce lawyers, we are still in favor of marriage. When a client shows up at our offices seeking a divorce, we ask first if they have tried reconciliation. We encourage them to talk to their spouses, and confront the problems in their marriage head on. If that doesn’t work, we refer them to marriage counselors. DIVORCE In any group of people there are different agendas and desires. And a group is two people or more. So the wonder isn’t that there are so many divorces. The wonder is that so many people manage to stay married. Sometimes you just have no choice but to get a divorce. You may need to get out of your marriage to have a better life. You may have chosen the wrong person to marry. Or your spouse may demand a divorce. Divorce is a way of ending a marriage. You have to go to court to get a divorce. In Maryland you can have an absolute divorce, which means a final and permanent divorce. A final divorce allows you to get remarried again, resolves all issues of custody, support, and property, may allow for use and possession orders of family use property, allows the court to enter an award to adjust equity, permits the sale of property, and permits a wife to resume a former name. LIMITED DIVORCE There is also a procedure in Maryland for obtaining support and other relief when you don’t have grounds for a final divorce. This is called a Limited Divorce. It is Maryland’s equivalent of a legal separation. The grounds for a Limited Divorce are easier to meet than those for a Final Divorce. For example, any separation, even for one day, qualifies as grounds for a Limited Divorce in Maryland. A Limited Divorce permits you to establish custody, visitation and support until you qualify for a Final or Absolute Divorce. If you don’t need to establish those matters, then you may not need to incur the additional costs of this extra proceeding. You do not have to file for a Limited Divorce first in order to get a Final or Absolute Divorce. ANNULMENTS A divorce says this marriage is ended. An annulment says this marriage never existed. Annulments are rarely granted and usually there has to be some kind of serious fraud involved. So you are better off in most cases getting a divorce. Religious annulments are easier to obtain, and you may request one even after you have a legal divorce from the court. You may want to get your spouse’s agreement to cooperate in a religious annulment or divorce, but it is sometimes possible to obtain one even over your spouse’s objection. PENDENT LITE RELIEF The court can also award pendente lite support. "Pendente lite" is Latin for "pending the litigation" so it means temporary support until the divorce trial. There are things you may need for the court to do pending the final trial. The court, upon request, can set a hearing to determine the financial needs of the parties and children, and the ability of a party to pay, and order support accordingly. This award is subject to rehearing at the final trial. The court can also order custody or specific visitation pending the final trial. THE EMOTIONAL DIVORCE Divorce is like a train wreck. It is just as traumatic to the parties and the children involved. There are enormous currents of emotions at play during a divorce as well as major legal and financial issues. Author Abigail Trafford describes these “Crazy Times” in her book by the same name. We know what you are feeling right now, because we have had many clients who felt the same way. Those that followed our advice have found that they feel better today. We distinguish between the legal divorce and the emotional divorce. The emotional divorce may not coincide in timing with the legal divorce. It may take years to get over your divorce and move on with your life. We recommend discussing your emotional divorce with a good therapist. Anxiety is a common human emotion. People will find something
to worry about even when times are good. When going through a
divorce, you will find many things to worry about, and you will
have good reason to worry. Even if we tell you not to worry,
you will worry. Let us suggest that instead of worrying about
your problems, you worry at your problems. Instead of letting
your mind be consumed with worrying about how bad the situation
is, you should concern yourself with what you can do to solve
the problems. Outline your problems in writing. It helps you
to focus clearly. (Then destroy these notes.) The support of friends and family is invaluable during divorce, but we offer one word of caution. Your family and friends will offer you advice about your case. They will tell you about someone that got life-time alimony or someone that didn’t have to pay any alimony. The facts and circumstances of your marriage, divorce, children, and property are unique and are different from any other case. Often such advice is not correct, and you need to take it with a grain of salt. This is not your neighbor’s divorce or you Aunt May’s divorce. It is your divorce and it is different from anyone else’s divorce. We tell our clients that during a divorce:
By this we mean you may not hear or understand everything we say, you don’t always say what you mean, you may not perceive things correctly, and you may exercise poor judgment. Your spouse will probably say things that will upset you. Keep in mind that it is only what the Judge says that counts, not what your spouse says. So when your spouse is upsetting you, we recommend using the “Old McDonald” method. No matter what your spouse is saying, all you hear is “EEE III EEE III OOO”. So if you are feeling depressed right now, or anxious, or crazy,
welcome to the club. You are not alone. In fact, you may be joining
the majority. And while this is not a particularly pleasant life
lesson, you will survive it, and become much stronger and wiser
in the process. |
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