Rule-Making in the Blended Family
An Issue for Mediation
Families today often consist of many different kinds of family members living together either all the time or only some days during each week. These family members may be mothers and fathers who have his children half the week, her children most of the time, and their children all of the time; they may be parents whose older children have come home to live temporarily; they may be middle-aged children whose elderly parent now need to be parented by the children. In any one of these families, conflict occurs as a natural outcome of people living together. Conflict does not have to be a negative occurrence. Often growth and new ideas surface from confronting differences. The confrontation, however, must be a forum where all points of view get a fair and equal hearing and acceptable guidelines are developed. When all family members are included in the rule-making process, every member is more likely to follow the rules.
Family Mediation provides a forum where all family members can be heard. A third party, the impartial mediator, helps each person express his/her concerns and suggestions in a safe environment. Mediation consists of brain-storming sessions where ideas are reviewed, discarded, retained and revised until a plan is developed which is acceptable to all members of the family. It is then implemented. Sometimes follow-up sessions must be held to refine unsuccessful areas or review new issues. A mediator can be an important participant in family rule-making.
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