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Aftermarriage: The Myth of Divorce
by Anita Wyzanski Robboy, Esq.
List Price - $16.95 |
There
are dozens of divorce books, many excellent. But Aftermarriage
stands out— not only for preparing husbands and wives for their own divorces—but
perhaps more importantly, for preparing couples for the rest of their
lives; from judgment day to Judgment Day. Post-marital life, which Attorney
Anita Roboy calls “aftermarriage,” is not what most people expect from
“post-divorce” --an extension of marriage without the physical intimacy.
In fact, married and divorcing couples are unaware of their legal rights
and duties until the third party to every marriage, the state, rears its
sometimes-ugly head. Thus, it can be said that divorce defines marriage,
just as death defines life, or evil defines good.
Attorney Robboy dispels another naive assumption, that a legal divorce results in a psychological divorce (it doesn’t), and that the post-divorce “realignment” will be relatively easy (it won’t). She views long term marriages as a series of marriages defined by a couples’ ability to realign themselves in light of their cultural differences (every family of origin is its own culture) and in light of external forces, such as money. But divorcing couples who couldn’t realign themselves during marriage will have the same task during aftermarriage. Aftermarriage follows divorce for all but a very narrow band of divorcing couples. The book describes five distinct marital bargains that emerge as marriage unravels. The bargains are made vivid through the lives of five divorcing couples, who are representative of the types of marital bargains, such as the “classic marriage” bargain or the “companion marriage” bargain, for example. Written in a first person narrative in “real time” as events unfold, including the author’s interior monologue, Aftermarriage reminds me of a Bogie movie where Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe narrates film noir. Getting into the head of a wise, compassionate and highly experienced divorce lawyer will undoubtedly benefit the reader. Don’t leave marriage without it. |
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