Domestic violence is in the news again. The highest court in Massachusetts recently handed down a decision linking child custody to domestic violence.
Trial court judges are now required to make permanent custody decisions in light of any domestic violence between the parents. Why? If a child sees one parent abusing the other, the child is traumatized. Solution? Grant custody to the victim.
The facts of the case before the court involved two violent parents. While dad stopped his abusive ways, mom continued hers. Nevertheless, the high court decided mom should have custody, not dad.
The court's stand is based on the idea that "people have rights and are entitled to respect." It seems, however, fathers are not entitled to the same respect as mothers and children.
One helpful guide is Nova Publishing Company's "Divorce Yourself: The National No-Fault Divorce Kit." It has forms, questionnaires, checklists, and summaries of state law. For technocrats, the Kit also provides forms on floppy disk. At $34.95, the book is a bit expensive, but packed with useful facts, forms, glossary, and index. Available in bookstores and from Nova Publishing Company, 1103 West College St., Carbondale, IL 62901 or call 1-800-748-1175.
"The Divorce Manual: A Client Handbook," published by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, is a concise, easy-to-read guide. It has no index or forms, but costs only $10, and provides helpful hints on counseling, tips on dealing with your childre n, your lawyer, the other lawyer, friends, and relatives. Available through AAML Fulfillment, PO Box 2170, Columbia, S. Carolina 29202 or call 1-800-422-6595.
States differ in their approach. Massachusetts, for example, applies a "clear advantage" standard. If the custodial parent proves that the move creates benefits for him or her, the children may move. The reasoning is "What's good the custodial pare nt is good for the children," just like "What's good for General Motors is good for America."
The noncustodial parent no longer has the same access to the children, but courts claim they do not want to weigh competing parental claims. A New York appeals court said In the Matter of Tropea, the conflict between the two parents is "too complex" and each case must be considered on its "own merits with predominant emphasis placed on...the best interests of the child."
The New York court did not say exactly what constitutes the "best interests" of a child. It merely decided mom did not have to show any extraordinary circumstances, just that the move was in the best interests of the child.
No matter what the court does in deciding these cases, the process is painful, expensive, and often revisits all of predivorce hostilities.
Tips on avoiding "removal" litigation:
Take precautions before divorce. Enter into a settlement agreement which includes the following provisions:
If you decide on the move, consider:
- Access to both parents.
- Educational opportunities.
- Medical needs and available services.
- Access to other relatives and friends.
- Access to siblings.
- Frequency of visits.
- Whether children travel alone.
- Cost of transportation.
- Adjustments to child support.
- Longer visits.
- Periodic review of all child-related provisions.
- Ensuring both parents' access to children's education and medical reports.
As children grow, their interests and needs change, so problems arise over changes in custody and visitation. Even parents who work together experience at least one or two major post divorce crises involving children.
After deciding custody cases, one judge lectures parents about the probabilities of a change in custody after divorce because even "permanent" custody orders are only temporary. Sometimes children initiate the change when they enter their teen years, and add to the confusion by changing their minds. They ask to move back, just when you thought you got (or got rid of) them.
Tips on handling custody issues:
(source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)