We humans have an irrepressible need to blame. If there are too many divorces, we blame “bad” spouses or “bad” laws such as no-fault divorces.
Critics argue that a no-fault divorce is the equivalent of a quick, easy divorce. Yet few divorcing couples find divorce simple or fast, despite no-fault divorce laws.
“Family value” proponents fail to recognize the complexities of the marital relationship when they argue for the elimination of no-fault divorces. They want a quick fix -- the same impulse they criticize in their friends and neighbors who ask courts for no-fault divorces.
The elimination of no-fault divorce will not prolong marriage; it will prolong divorce.
The wife challenged the validity of a Swiss marriage contract denying her a share of the family business. The New Mexico court upheld the contract, but her lawyer says the fight has not ended yet; the parties are still waiting for the judge’s ruling on Mrs. Hess’ alimony claim.
As of early March 1996, Mr. Hess paid legal fees for his wife in excess of what “would comfortably support 50 New Mexico families,” according to his lawyer as quoted in the Albuquerque Monthly.
Referral services maintain lists of lawyers willing to accept reduced fee cases for low and moderate income clients.
When looking for free or reduced fee lawyers, try calling:
Read various materials for non-lawyers published by bar associations for information on local divorce laws. Sphinx Publishing of Clearwater, Florida (1-800-226-5291) publishes do-it-yourself divorce books for the following states: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Minnesota, and Texas.
Nolo Press of Berkeley, California (1-800-992-6656) has several do-it- yourself books for California.
Cheapest source of information: divorce court is usually open to the
public, so visit your local courthouse. Observe the judge in action. Get
a sense of the courtroom atmosphere, protocol and the judge’s likes and
dislikes. In other words, do your homework, and learn what it takes to
represent yourself or how to pick the right lawyer.
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Divorce courts weight evidence on many factors before dividing assets or awarding alimony, Judges often consider:
Contrary to popular belief, your spouse’s bad conduct is not necessarily the most important factor, so be prepared to give your lawyer plenty of information on every other topic.
As you prepare for trial, if you are in a unfamiliar with family finances, court rules permit inquiry or “discovery” into your spouse’s finances with:
The woman’s husband read the on-line exchanges, discovered that his wife planned to meet her on-line companion in person, and filed for divorce on the ground of adultery.
The wife in turn claimed the husband violated her privacy, even though he had legitimate access to the e-mail address.
In all probability the court will not give serious scrutiny to either
party’s claim, leaving unanswered any questions about divorce, privacy, and
the Internet for another day.
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Custody is a complex matter, in part because our society is mobile. Prior to 1968, a disgruntled parent could leave one state with the children, and ask a new state to consider a new request for custody and visitation in complete disregard for the first state’s orders. In 1968, lawmakers attempted to end “forum shopping” by requiring all custody matters to be handled by the child’s “home state.” Subsequent laws compel all fifty states to recognize the primacy of the home state’s custody orders.
In 1988, Congress implemented the Hague Convention on International Parental Child Abduction. Finally, in 1993, Congress added criminal penalties to parental abduction of children across international borders.
Here are some tips for left-behind parents and their lawyers trying to locate and retrieve children after reporting the adduction to the local police, U.S. State Department and FBI:
1. a copy of your custody or visitation orders.
2. copies of police reports.
3. documents tending to show the children’s whereabouts, such as telephone bills, letters, and affidavits from friends and relatives.
4. copy of the new law, including the legislative history indicating that Congress favors extradition.
5. a clear, concise statement of the way in which the new law applies to your case.
“When an opposing lawyer is impugning your integrity, is making attacks, you shouldn’t be standing there rising to the bait, yelling back. Be quiet. Judges know what’s going on. We may not look like we do because we’re sitting there so impassively...We are not stupid.” Eileen Shaevel, Judge, Flaschner Judicial Institute, Report of the Massachusetts Probate and Family Court Bench/Bar Conference, April 8, 1995
Words of inspiration from a Japanese folk tale:
“A bear chases a samurai over the edge of a cliff. As the samurai falls,
he grabs a branch moments before landing in the open jaws of a lion. The
ferocious bear remains at the edge of the cliff. The samurai looks up and
sees two groundhogs gnawing at the branch, and then spots a clump of wild
strawberries. With his free hand he reaches for the biggest red berry,
puts it in his mouth, savors the taste and says contentedly, ‘Ah,
delicious!’”
-- Iris Morikawa Caslin, family and juvenile law attorney