Dear Reader: The rich and famous can pay for more justice, like the Stembergs of Massachusetts, for example. They were divorced in 1988, but that didn't end the fighting. In 1994, the Stembergs spent 45 days at trial. Millions of dollars were at stake because of Thomas Stemberg's ownership of the successful chain of stores, Staples. Mrs. Stemberg claimed she didn't get the full story before the divorce about the value of the business. The judge ruled against Mrs. Stemberg. He believed that Mr. Stemberg and his lawyers told her everything they knew or could have known about the business. The lesson: Evaluate all of the information and ask questions before you settle. Pay for financial and tax advice and use that advice before you sign your settlement papers. Sharyn T. Sooho Steven L. Fuchs Law Offices of Sharyn T. Sooho Two Newton Place, Suite 200 Newton, MA 02158-1634 voice: (617) 969-1400 fax: (617) 964-1694
The way you behave and present yourself in the courtroom can have an important impact on the outcome of your case. By observing the following rules, you increase your chances of success: * Leave the children at home. * Arrive on time. * When waiting in the court room, do not read newspapers, chew gum, drink coffee, or whisper to your lawyer. * Stand when the judge enters the court room. Wait for the judge to sit before sitting. * When you and your spouse stand in front of the judge, do not speak until the judge gives you permission. * Address the judge as "Your Honor" or "Judge." * Do not interrupt anyone speaking to the court. * Be polite.
Years ago a well known divorce lawyer told a television audience that he refused to divide pots and pans, but his terminology trivializes a difficult problem. When you divorce your spouse, how do you divide the wedding gifts, kitchen gadgets, and linens? Here's our list of tips: * Each party keeps what he or she owned before marriage, including wedding gifts from his or her family and friends. * If you never used the kitchen gadgets, don't ask for them. * If there are two sets of wrenches, leave one for your spouse. * Share the cost of copying photographs. Now that you've eliminated some of the personal items from controversy: * Each party should prepare a list of personal items he or she wants. * Compare lists. * Check off those items you both want. * Toss a coin -- the winner makes the first "pick" from the items you both want. * Now the "loser" makes the second pick. * Continue taking turns until all the items have been selected. The most important rule is: * Remember things are replaceable, so keep your sense of humor and perspective.
Your financial statement is the most important document you give the court, so avoid the following mistakes: * Dividing monthly income and expenses by 4 to calculate weekly expenses -- there are 52 weeks in a year, not 48, so divide by 4.3 * Using your year-end statement for a pension value -- you may need an actuary to appraise the pension. * Showing weekly expenses for clothing and payment on credit cards used to purchase clothing -- you counted your clothing expense twice. * Filling in the amount your employer withholds for medical insurance, and the same amount under weekly expenses -- you gave yourself credit twice. * Forgetting to include furniture, cash surrender value of life insurance, or tax refunds. * Using the tax assessment to value your home -- the assessment may not be the same as market price. * Completing your financial statement the morning of your court appearance. Be sure you and your lawyer review your statement before you give copies to the court and your spouse. Check your pay stub, tax returns, and latest bank statements. Compare those documents with the information on the financial statement. If you discover an omission or mistake after you file the statement, prepare an amended statement at once. Be sure to give copies to your spouse and the court.
(Interview with Janet Weinberger)
Why use mediation; what are the advantages?
The most important benefit is the control people have in
creating a settlement agreement carefully crafted to meet their
particular needs. When judges decide cases, and even when
attorneys negotiate agreements, the result is usually not as
customized.
There are also advantages in speed and cost. Agreements often
take less time to complete since parties negotiate directly with
each other, using lawyers primarily as consultants. The amount
of legal time and related expense is reduced as a result.
According to one California study, the cost of mediation is less
than half the cost of conventional negotiation. Studies have also
shown that parties are more satisfied with mediation than
negotiation through attorneys, and there is better compliance
with mediated agreements.
Speaking of fees, how do mediators charge?
Mediators charge by the hour. In the Boston area, a typical fee
is $150 per hour.
How do I find Massachusetts divorce mediators?
You can write to the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation,
c/o American Arbitration Association, 133 Federal Street,
Boston, MA 02110 for a referral list. Their phone number is
617/426-4644.
Janet Weinberger is an attorney who practices divorce mediation
in Newton. A former president of the Massachusetts Council on
Family Mediation, she has graduate degrees in both law and
social work.
You may be amazed that the best lawyers are sometimes the friendliest. But watch out. They're trained to represent their client's interests zealously. Don't be fooled by the polite veneer. If your opponent smiles, beware. Some lawyers are plain nasty. They won't sweet talk you. The nasty litigator goads and enrages you, using your own anger as his best offensive weapon. Your judgment is impaired. You act impulsively. You make a bad impression on the judge. Don't fall into these traps.
"Like marriage rates, divorce rates tend to decline in times of economic depression and rise during periods of prosperity. Approximately one half of all divorces are among persons in their 20s, and the rate is exceptionally high among teenagers. Divorce is also most frequent in the first three years after marriage, and the incidence is higher among lower socioeconomic levels." (c) Grolliers Electronic Encyclopedia
"Adversity can lead a person of exceptional character to good fortune and freedom from error." -- I Ching
C'est La Vie, a French movie released in the Boston area a few years ago, captures the sound and fury of divorce from a child's point of view. For a scholar's view, read "Children and Divorce" in the spring 1994 issue of The Future of Children, available at no cost from the Center for the Future of Children, 300 Second St., Suite 102, Los Altos, CA 94022-3621. "Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'" -- Rita Rudner "My wife got the house, the car, the bank account, and if I marry again and have children, she gets them too." -- Woody Allen, divorced twice
If your agreement calls for a cost of living adjustment ("COLA"),
the CPI for all urban consumers increased 2.9% for the twelve
months ending February 28, 1995.
(source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
* Motion Sessions: Not an Aerobics Class * Family Service Officers * Wage Assignments