Family Law AdvisorŪ
Frequently Asked Questions

I've been divorced for five years, and I've got a great out-of-state job offer. My divorce papers give me sole custody of the kids, and give my "ex" visitation every other weekend. What happens when I move?

Slow down. You may not be able to leave Connecticut with the children unless your "ex" agrees, or the court grants permission. This is a hotly contested area of the law and Connecticut law is not yet clear on this issue.

I thought sole custody gave me the freedom to do what I want?

Not necessarily. Try to get your "ex" to agree. Give your "ex" plenty of time with the children during the summer and school vacations. Offer to pay for or share the air fare for the children to travel to and from Texas frequently.

My "ex" will never agree. What do I do?

File a complaint for permission to remove the minor children from Connecticut, and ask the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem right away.

What is a guardian ad litem?

The guardian ad litem, referred to as the "G A L " is a mental health professional or lawyer appointed by the court to speak with you, your "ex," and the children. The G A L writes the court a report with recommendations. If you and your ~ex~ accept the recommendations, that's pretty much the end of the case. By the way, the court will probably order you and your "ex" to pay the G A L.

What happens if I disagree with the recommendations?

You have the right to ask for a trial to present your case, but we have a backlog in Connecticut, so don't pack your bags yet. Also, you still owe your share of the G A L's bill.

What does the court look for in these cases?

You need to show the court the reasons for the move and how it is in your children's best interest to move with you. You also need to have a plan for maintaining the children's access to your ex.

I'll try mediation first, because it may take less time and money.

Right! But you still need the final approval from the court, so get a written agreement through mediation for the court's approval.

Do the courts ever let a parent move with kids on a temporary basis?

Sometimes. However, if your "ex" has objections, the court in Connecticut will have to make the final decision. After you and children live outside Connecticut for more than six months, the courts here may have no authority to make any more decisions. ~C

What happens then?

~ The children's new "home state" may have authority to make custody and visitation decisions.

Even if my "ex" is still in Connecticut?

It depends on whether the children continue to visit your "ex" here in Connecticut. If they maintain "significant contacts" with Connecticut, Connecticut should retain jurisdiction to decide custody and visitation disputes.

Can my "ex" use the Connecticut courts to take custody away from me in my new state?

Generally speaking, no. Courts don't like people running in and out of different courts, so your old state will probably defer to your new home state after the children have been there for six months.

Okay, but assuming I get to leave with the kids now, and they get the urge to return to Connecticut when they're teenagers, what happens then?

A lot of judges talk about adolescents needing a chance to leave the primary caretaker -- you -- to live with the other parent. It happens, and you and the courts generally have to go along with the change.

Will I get to see the kids?

As far as the court is concerned, yes, but keep in mind that older kids spend more time with friends than parents.

That makes sense. I just don't want my "ex" bad mouthing me, and turning the kids against me.

Of course not. Both parents should refrain from saying negative things about the other parent within earshot of the children.

-- Rutkin & Oldham, LLC

---

Connecticut State Resource Directory

Family Law AdvisorŪ Home Page

©1996 LawTek Media Group, LLC
all rights reserved