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#227731 - 11/06/09 07:14 AM Re: Update... [Re: emilyrae]
Tali_Llama Offline
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 6738
Loc: S. California
It's amazing, but some people just choose to disappear. My ex left behind my 2 kids, and then her 2nd ex's 2 kids, plus her last husband and a stepkid. She also has no contact with members of her family. (Her brother lives near me in California, just had his 3rd child - my ex is unaware of her new nephew's existence.)

Some people just have that "button" turned off inside them.
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#227767 - 11/06/09 06:35 PM Re: Update... [Re: Tali_Llama]
shopgirl Offline
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Registered: 11/09/03
Posts: 4052
It really is amazing.

I wonder if they start feeling so guilty that the time spans get longer, and longer, that they soon dissipate altogether?

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#227772 - 11/06/09 07:22 PM Re: Update... [Re: emilyrae]
astrolink Offline
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Registered: 06/03/03
Posts: 5740
Emilyrae, you've put compassion and empathy before your own personal interests. I commend you on your decisions. Heck, if you lived in my neck of the woods.....I'd take you out for a cup of coffee!

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#227774 - 11/07/09 03:42 AM Re: Update... [Re: shopgirl]
Tali_Llama Offline
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 6738
Loc: S. California
Yes, for about 5 months before she left the state, my ex tried to take visitation - mostly I suspect to impress her new boyfriend.

At first it was with both children for the entire weekend, then it was whittled down each weekend, and before she left, she basically was taking 1 of the two kids for about 4 hours.

Communication went similarly - a few calls a year, then 2, then none.
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#227779 - 11/07/09 06:40 AM Re: Update... [Re: astrolink]
emilyrae Offline
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Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 416
Loc: Pasadena, MD
And I would most definitely take you up on the offer! smile I'd probably order a hot cocoa or cider, though. I don't like coffee. I get accused of being unamerican all the time for it.

Thank you for your kind words. I just want my daughter to grow up happy, and my fear is I'll run out of compassion before my ex gets a clue. I'll take it one day at a time!

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#227800 - 11/07/09 06:30 PM Re: Update... [Re: emilyrae]
shopgirl Offline
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Registered: 11/09/03
Posts: 4052
Well Astro, this lady just might be worth a ticket to MD wink

Would that not be the coolest? lol!!!

Hmmmm...................................

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#227837 - 11/08/09 05:26 PM Re: Update... [Re: shopgirl]
emilyrae Offline
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Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 416
Loc: Pasadena, MD
I don't know astro, I have a lot of baby daddy drama in my court! smile

So the birthday party went well. He didn't bring anyone with him, which means he drove without a license but that's not my problem. He was cordial, and thanked me afterwords for letting him be there for our DD's birthday. He brought gifts from him and his family. My family was all really nice to him (as I assumed they would be) but most importantly my DD was ecstatic. She walked him around my mom's house letting everyone know he was her Daddy. I wasn't very comfortable, but I put on a smile and enjoyed the day as well.

As far as the car, my dad came with me when I picked up/dropped off my DD at my ex's house. The car was parked on the street, without the plate. I asked him what his plan was and he said he was going to take the title in and get it put in his name. My dad offered to buy the car from him, and he said no. So I let him know that if it isn't taken care of in a month I was going to take possession of the car. My dad took the reins (because I'm a pushover) and told him that if the car wasn't in my name in a month he'd be there with a tow truck to take the car if he had to. I should have put my foot down, but didn't want to fight in front of my DD. I also knew starting an argument with my father there would have gotten way out of control. (my dad is a hothead) After talking to my grandpa and my family I realized it really isn't in my best interest to wait a month, if the car is parked in the street. I'm going to call my ex and discuss the situation further, as I'm super paranoid that the car will get towed, and I'll be footing the fines associated with abandoning a vehicle. I just wish I would have had the guts to just demand the keys.


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#227868 - 11/09/09 01:07 AM Re: Update... [Re: emilyrae]
shopgirl Offline
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Registered: 11/09/03
Posts: 4052
SO glad your party went well and your daughter was so happy! What a good mamma you are. Keep it up and she will grow to understand on her own and respect (and appreciate!) how you handled it all.

Well, I hope he gets it all changed to his name soon! sheesh. You've been more than workable.

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