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I'm in Georgia.

I have not seen one child come to our school that has been home schooled that isn't behind for their age/grade level. Since August I have seen at least 25 to 30 cases of children that have been home schooled that are now coming to our school. It's a Charter school, so while it's public, it's a choice school.

Again, I'm not trying to argue with you, but home schooling is NOT for everyone. It doesn't work for every kid or every parent. The OP has every right to be concerned.

How exactly would he exercise his every other friday visitation if the child were home schooled??

He would have to take the child to school during the day during his Friday anyway, correct? Why not just drop the child off at his mother's for school and then pick up when they are done. He wouldn't be losing any time with the child, as the child would be in school on a Friday regardless of what school the child went to.

Bokis, I think you are not arguing the concept or choice in general of home schooling, but if this is the best decision for your ss. While it is often a very beneficial path for many children, it does require dedication on both the part of the parent and the child, and I get the feeling that you do not feel that the mother in this case is capable of the dedication required. I also get the feeling that you and your DH feel that the mother's motives are other than that of getting a good education.

We went through a mess with our BM when she 'home schooled ss'. My husband has JOINT decision making, no tie breaking deal. She withdrew son from school without my husband's knowledge and enrolled him, via forged signature of my husband's, in a home schooling program. At that point not much could be done except to take it to court - or- to show how this program was not in the best interest of the child.

Bokis, this what we did, and what you and your DH can do to monitor and ensure that the child is in a thriving educational environment. Even if we/you did not have a say in the matter, 'we' certainly have a say in all information pertaining to the home school. Here are some things to do

-Get the name of the home school affliation that the son's cirriculum will be based on. Is this through a private school or following the public school cirriculum?

-Do as much research as you can on the organization sponsoring the home schooling.

-Find out how often reviews are to be handled.

-MAKE SURE a copy of your DH's court order is on file with the sponsoring program. Make sure he requests copies of all evaluations.

-Have him request a copy of the cirriculum that the son will be using.

-Compare the cirriculum the home school uses to the that of the public school to see how similar they are. This is your best guideline.

-I would also make sure son is evaluated every summer to make sure that he is advancing to the next grade. It the Mother is not putting the dedication into this, it is very easy for a young child to fall behind very quickly.

This is what your DH can do, and if he feels that son is receiving any less of an education that he is currently in, or that this type of schooling is not benefiting the child, he can go to court to dispute with his reasons and proof.

With my SS, first flag was Mother did not affiliate with the county home schooling system, which is top in the state. She chose a private small church affiliated program over 100 miles away from her home. The school required only a one time, $100 fee and only one review a year. This was middle school level and the cirriculum was simply 2 Sciences, 2 Maths, 2 Social Studies etc. Nothing specific to cover. When we did get copies of the reviews mother had completed, they were so falsified they were almost comical if they were not so sad. Supposedly son was doing Geometry, Algebra, World History, Science Experiments, Playing instruments for music study.......The sad part is the child is 18 and can not recite the month's of the year and is just learning to count money. She neglected him out of an education for years before we could get it changed. She had no intention of investing her time in a good home school education.

Good luck to you. I feel your frustration.

"Mom has some college courses,but she is not a college graduate. But, she has no special training in education."

Based on this, the dad has a reason to concern. If it is just for pre-K year, then it's not such a big deal. But beyond that, the mom has to have decent education and training for homeschooling. It's not for amateur who happens to "claims that she "did not like" the way her daughter was treated at some sort of school event" or who has to much time on her/his hands simply because she/he stays home.
Unless that local school is seriously bad, "dislike" about how her child was treated is not a legitimated reason to take the child out. Most parents exprerienced at one time or another some unpleasant issues or disagreements with teachers and school and the right thing to do is to communicate to attack the issue to reach a common understanding through PTA meeting or emails. Parents don't just take the child out because she/he thinks he/she is right and the rest of teachers, principal, and officials are wrong. A child not only learns good experiences in school but also "bad" experiences so that he/she can learn to deal with all sorts of situation later in life.

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"Mom has some college courses,but she is not a college graduate. But, she has no special training in education."

Based on this, the dad has a reason to concern. If it is just for pre-K year, then it's not such a big deal. But beyond that, the mom has to have decent education and training for homeschooling. "


If you do not have an AA, then most states require a specific home school teaching class.
I am teaching HS material; I do not remember 3/4 of the material from HS or life experience, however as an adult it is extremely easy to read my teacher materials, read my child's books, and understand it clearly.

Unless you have done it yourself, you likely have HUGE misunderstandings about it.

I'm going to move a schooling subject to the debate forum...

To the OP:

I'm interested to hear:
1) WHY there is such concern (is the mother a proven flake?)
2) If she, or the father carry this concern
3) What their offer of compromise would be to the mother (ie: willing to pay a the extra for accredited, willing to take on doing some experiments with the child, ?)

The thing is, it is a parent's right to choose to home school. Unless the father can convince a judge that the mother is a flake, the legal order states she holds the tie breaking decision.

Just drop the child off with the mother for the schooling on Friday - what is so wrong with that? Or are we counting 'YOU HAVE X MANY MORE HOURS THAN ME!'. You know? If the father IS available that day, then he could always help with home schooling. Esp. for grades K - 8, it is not rocket science.

I would be EXTREMELY concerned if Ex- decided to pull DS out of public school so SM could 'home school' him. First, she's not as smart as DS, and you have to be smarter than who you're teaching! Second, they could claim they're 'home schooling' all year long, so what happens to the visitation schedule then?

Yep, I can feel OP's angst. I bet there's an ulterior motive here!

"you have to be smarter than who you're teaching! "

It's true. But to be fair, the kid is only in pre-K and most educated parents can handle. However, I question about their ability if illed equipt, to handle higher grades, especially those approach high school level. Anyone can claim to be a "teacher" but the question is the end result of the kid's performance comparing to his/her peers. A child's education involved many subjects and activities, and if a parent is not properly prepared for the job, he/she is fooling him/herself.

In addition, in my experience, because most kids don't view or look up to parents the same way they do to a teacher. It's because they are their parents and they expect them to treat them differently and losely due to emotional attachment between parent/children. Many would whine or even object to parents to do assignments just because they think they can get away, and many parents can give up the discipline that a teacher would enforce just because it's only at home, or don't have to deal with the headache.
That's why Kimi mentioned about depending on the nature relationship between them. In my opinion, the parent must be very tough to keep the child under control in order to enforce similar rules as in a classroom, AND the child must be very obeydience or extremely submissive/timid since an active and outgoing child wouldn't have the patient to sit there in the house studying all days and years in and years out by him/herself (even with breaks outside). The lonely feelings because of no-interaction with other kids would also bore him/her to death. Homeschooling can't substitute the teaching of working with same peers and how to deal with pressure and competition. Competition motivates working harder and a sense of proudness and build up self-esteem that's extremely important later in life.

I can't help but envision most parents who chose homeschooling are overly ambitious in their ability, even with propered training, and overlooked other important aspects of a conventional school would benefit their child later. Either that or they are very anti-social and paranoid and impose similar idea/feelings on their children by keeping them home or within arm length. To them, most anything outside the home are no good. They forgot that children will grow up and leave their nest, and therefore, they must learn to deal and compete with outside world when they were young.
That's just my opinion. If one can claim to handle all, all power to him/her.

"the question is the end result of the kid's performance comparing to his/her peers. "


This is why MOST states require home schooled children to take either SAT or ACT...
But remember...just b/c a child is 'behind' in a subject does not necessarily mean the parent is failing. My child is ahead in most subjects, but lagging in one that he has always had a hard time with. I have enrolled him with a specialized teacher for that subject, and he has improved - but still behind.