DivorceNet®

Hi,
My divorce was finalized last year, but my ex-wife is dragging me back to court for uninsured medical expenses for our autistic son - we disagree what is medically necessary and what is elective. Her family has money so I think she is using legal action partially to punish me - knowing I cannot keep up with the legal fees.

My lawyer does not know very much about special needs nor does he know everything I do about her finances and her actions. I kept trying to whisper suggestions to him during the pre-trial conference but it was frustrating not being able to speak for myself. Being college educated, I think I can do a decent job of representing myself and discrediting her claims, but I am afraid of getting into trouble, saying something I shouldn't, or missing an opportunity because I am not familiar with the legal system. Would it be possible for me to represent myself but have someone with legal skills (recent law grad?) standing there with me to advise me?

On what do you base your disagreement to what is necessary and what is elective?

Various reasons - one example would be swimming lessons. I take him swimming almost every weekend I have him during the summer, but she still wants me to pay for half of swimming lessons. Why would I pay for something that I can do myself for free?

Is she asking you to pay for these as an uninsured medical expense? What does your order say about extra curriculars?

Swimming lessons are NOT an uninsured medical expense, at least not in my world. LOL. Is there anything written in your agreement in regards to activities / sports?

I do agree with children having professional swimming lessons - however they do not have to be costly. My kids take lessons at the local Boys & Girls club, at most they are $45 for a 6-7 week class (half the time I do not have to pay because they are members of the club, cost depends on if they have to hire an out of network instructor).

I would never ask my ex to contribute to this, as it’s not mandatory nor medically necessary; it’s something I feel benefits my kids in a safety fashion, so I take care of it.

There are lots of places where you can pay an arm and a leg, for a while my sister was taking my older son to an aquatic center for lessons – I think it was $140 for 6 weeks. I’m thinking this is more like what your ex is taking your son too, if she’s set on taking you to court for half the cost.

One more thing…… my older son is on the Autism Spectrum……. Being in a swim class with his peers is very good for the social issues kids with Autism have ….. I think your child would benefit as well, but it doesn’t have to be very costly.