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Well my wife left with the kids and went to California back in June. About a month later she filed for seperation. I have since seen a lawyer and he said that we could get the kids back home no problem. My question is this. Do you think i will be able to get full custody of them since she left the state? I will be going back to the lawyer on Monday to start filing for divorce before she is able to file for divorce and the kids are stuck in Cali. Tell me what ya think.

Thank You,

Your attorney is inaccurate. Had you filed as soon as she moved to California, you would have had no problem getting them back.

It's now 3 months later and not one word from you to the courts about an objection to the move. That's implied consent. It doesn't take 3 months to file a motion requesting that the kids be brought back to the state.

You can try, but you are probably going to lose and become the long-distance parent. I would argue that since she created the distance, that she should be the one to pay all transportation costs for your parenting time with them.

Well he did advise me to do it about a month ago. But seemed like things where going a little better so i held off. But what i think is happening is manipulating me to hold off. I also just do like the way the kids are living in her mother family room. And we had once lived there before with her mother and step father and they where both alcoholics. She tells me know that they don't drink anymore but i don't know this to be true or not.

"Well he did advise me to do it about a month ago. But seemed like things where going a little better so i held off. But what i think is happening is manipulating me to hold off."

That's all you have to explain to the judge when they ask....that your wife has been giving you empty promises to fix the marriage.....but that you've now concluded it's been a delay.

So you knew that she moved the kids to California in a home with alcoholics? You aren't going to be able to use that since you didn't object at the time of the move.

You should have taken your lawyer's advice a month ago. Even then, it still would have been iffy about the courts siding with you as it was 2 months and no action.

NJ is big on status quo. And the status quo is that the kids live with their mother in CA and you didn't file to have them brought back as soon as it became apparent that this was not a vacation. Which would have been a couple of weeks after they went.

Not to mention that a court isn't going to want to interrupt their school year and by the time this gets to court, they will have attended school in CA for a a couple more months.

Do ask your attorney to initiate an emergency hearing. NJ will order the kids back. If your ex does not come back with them, you will be granted custody.

Just wanted to add to my post, when I was going through my divorce, I was at my attorney's office. He was working on a case where the stbx of his client had took the kids to Texas. He didn't tell me this, kind of hard not to hear his paralegal talking in the other room asking the mother when she was going to bring the kids back. I don't know if the court ordered the kids back, but since it had only been a couple of weeks, chances are that the court did. In your case, it's been more than a couple of weeks.

So I asked my NJ attorney about move aways. Here is what he said:

The longer you wait, the less likely you are to get the children back to NJ.

Not trying to be a downer, but I also don't want you to set yourself up for a big disappointment. You can file, but don't be surprised when the court doesn't order the kids back. It's been months. The kids have started school there. The reality is that you aren't going to get a court to order the kids back. Right now, you need to fight for as much time as you can get. Ask for all holidays, school breaks and all of summer vacation. And ask that your stbx pays all of the transportation costs since she is the one who created the distance.

Yes i understand that i have waited to long. I am going in today with an open mind that it might not happen. But i cannot sit around anymore waiting for her next move. I am just hopeing that i am able to get my boys out from the living situation that they are in. I understand that they have started school already but with it only a few weeks in to the year im hopeing that it will not be an issue. All i can do is go and find out.

O and thank you all for your replies.

Good luck. Please come back and let us know the result of your initial meeting with your attorney.