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Okay heres the deal- I need opinions and advice from men and woman and I want a best and worst case scenario

My wife of 8 years(we have 4 kids) kicked me out of the house back in april. Shes been talking about about a divorce for a year or so but never really didnt do anything about it. The whole walkaway wife thing with a hint of my stepsons dad coming back into the picture.
The day she kicked me out all I was going to do that day is give my mom back her truck back(Ive been using her truck to take to work on school days so my wife can have the family vehicle. When I told her that I was leaving and why(my mom needed the truck so she can go to the bank and pay for her tress to be cut), when i told her how much my mom was gonna pay(which shouldnt really matter to her cuz its not her money),that set her off and she was on the phone with somebody and she told me that I should go live with my mom. So we were going back and forth and during that time I tried to call a lawyer but I couldnt get a hold of one in person. She told me that if I didnt leave that she would take the kids to a shelter. Just to let ya know I was never a threat to her or my kids at all. My family and friends can vouch for that.
I called her a few days later and she said she would take the kids to michigan if I wanted to move back in the house. So for the first few months a was paying her 400 every 2 weeks for child support. Just to let ya know she doesnt have a job and still doesnt and that she would pay the bills and the mortgage. About a month or more ago she demanded 600 every 2 weeks cuz she saw all the overtime I was working in the summer, well as of a couple weeks ago the overtime has been dwindling.
I have have been living at my moms and on my days off I have the kids but its not a healthy situation here having my kids here and my wife knows it. I cant afford a place of my own cuz of what I am paying her and I got into a payday loan which I got cuz I wanted to pay off some debts and hopefully save for a place.(big mistake! Ill take the hit for that, it gets paid off in october or november.) Thats also the reason I cant afford a lawyer. Ive talked to many lawyers with the consults and have gotten some advice. But if worse comes to worse I will ask freinds and family to lend me money to get a lawyer and pay off that loan.
Now I know some of the mistakes I made and should have done. I shouldnt have moved out. Also Ive been paying her with cash which is also a mistake. When i dropped off the kids today she gave me more of my stuff and told me that shes cleaning house just incase they have to move. I called the mortgage company and was told that a payment hasnt been made since march and that we are in another loan modification plan.
I know shes been having my stepsons dad over there when i have the kids and who else knows what goes on. I know I have to make a move soon but also I have to think of the kids also. I mean they are in school and they like the schools that they go to and the neighborhood.
That is why I want a mother and fathers point of view and any attorneys who view this website.
I know I havent been the best husband, maybe I didnt give her enuff sex or give her enuff attention or didnt make enuff money, but do I deserve all this?

Document, document, document! Stop giving her money in cash! go to the library or use the internet and start researching the laws in your state regarding divorce, child care and custody, look up case studies, and find someone that could work on a payment system with you.

FURTHER MORE, get out of the pay day loan thing, that alone with make things worse with all the fees.

As far as the wife and your stepsons father, keep a log of what you know when you know it, and how it affects or will affect your kids on the just in case. Don't threaten her with any of the information you get or know about, just have it for yourself for informational purposes.

As far as you moving out of your mother's home... start with baby steps, maybe when you have your children, as long as it's nice outside, spend the day at the park, or someplace least exspensive, and arrive with the children late in the evening for dinner. This gets them out of the house and spending time with you, without direct or indirect involvement on what may or may not be healthy in your mom's home.

Finally start saving pennies, nickles and dimes, if a dollar a day is not reasonable so you can afford a downpayment and rent on a new place.

Does it work in this inflation? Yeph, I saved for almost 12 months before I moved out of my mother's home during/after a divorce, yes I had help toward the end, but I let go of the non essentials for a while, ie cable... etc.

Finally regarding your stbx, seems to be controlling alot of what you do, get some bounce back by taking the first step and stop giving her cash, if she complains tell her you want to see a receipt for all expeditures pertaining to the kids.

Hope that helps.

Others will chime in soon.

thanks that was actually helpfull and also short and sweet, I am trying to save and I will try more. If ya think of anything else please let me know. One more question, I am currently leasing a jeep for over 500 a month which is also eating up a chunk of my money and the lease aint over till late next year. What are my options, other than stop paying it, of getting out of that or are there any options.

Wow, not alot of options on the jeep except what you mentioned. $500 is alot when you don't really have it, added to insurance cost, yeah, you might want to turn it in, go to an auction and try your best to buy a reliable car out right.

Keep us posted.

How much do I need to have at an auction?

Generally speaking atleast $1,000. sometimes less, if you can get financing for the rest of the vehicle.

I have a friend who just got her car repo sad but sign of the times, so for 3 weeks she did peoople's hair when she was working to get the extra cash, and just bought a 1999 cavilier for $1,200. She had a thousand and paid the remainding balance 2 weeks later. It runs good was well keep at had one owner. Although the mileage was high, chevy is... like a rock. It will last. She did have it inspected before she bought it though.

Thanks for giving to me ppl I deserve it, Im gonna ask a bunch of friends and family for money to hopefully get a lawyer and make a payment on the house. My next paycheck is gonna be short so well see what happens.
also I have a buddy that lives down the street thats a state trooper so Ill talk to him also.
Im gonna make a move within the week, It mite involve a lawyer or not and maybe the police or not.
Thanks Ill keep ya posted and keep giving me advice