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Hi! I'm hoping someone can help me. My husband and I have been physically seperated for a year. There have been times where we were intitmate until I caught him with a new women twice. He went and got a RO full of false allegations against me and my family. He's neglected the kids, destroyed the bank acccount, been in our home stealing things, and constantly threatens me with calling the police when I called to discuss issues with the kids and so forth. We had a court appearance in July, but his lawyer never showed so they rescheduled it for the 24th of august. Well the law guardian didn't show so they rescheduled it again for sept. During the appearance his lawyer lied stating that they still want to keep the RO.He stated before we entered court that they were gonna drop it. I have legal aid and it seem like she did nothing. My STBX is using this RO to cover up his adulterous behavior. It's been my instinct that my STBX and his new lady friend have an apartment together as well. He constantly lies, leave the children by themselves when he has visitations and destroyed my name among mutual friends. I've done nothing to this man. I'm not a threat. I feel this could hinder me from getting a decent job with the state if they do a background check. Is there ANYTHING that I could do? Thank you and God bless.

What proof did he have for the RO? I can't imagine a RO without any. You really need a good attorney to deal with his tactics. Without concrete proof of adultery (picture/emails..etc), it won't be taken seriously in a divorce case.

Well what he did was made up lies to add more like he was the victim. He said that I called him names,(not true) he said that I harassed his family,(I don't even speak to them when I see them in public) and accused me of harassing him when I would call and beg for money for our children.(he wipes the bank account clean per pay period) Someone told me the next time he was out with this women was to take pictures, which I did, and that was in the RO as well.I've been wanting so badly to take this thing to court to prove my innocence but everytime we go, it's always something. He had our energy bill shut off and refused to take the children when they had no place to stay while it was off. The looks on my children face when he denied them was horrible. He warned me weeks before that he had planned on filing an ro. I just didn't think he would play dirty being the fact that we just lost a child less than a year ago. He's been persistent about his name being off the lease, He's never home(he resides with his mother) He's angry and berates me everyday about my job,tells me to bug off and constantly lies about everything. I'm pretty sure they have their own place, I just don't have the proof. What can I do? I've tried to talk to him because he has agreed that we would divorce based on adultery but he has changed his tune because a) he only wants to pay me 800 dollars in child support and b) he doesn't want everyone to know his dark little dirty secrets.He's got everybody thinking he's the doting dad who loves his children when he could careless about them. It's our children that are suffering and unfortunely, he does these things thinking it's hurting me when in reality it's hurting them. What in the world do I do?

Usually when one filed for a RO, there must be a proven proof, not just hearsay. However, some judge can allow without one provided just for the safe side, to separate 2 disgrunted individuals. In such case, a RO is worthless in the divorce court and you don't have to worry about (unless he has proofs of your wrongdoings).

"he wipes the bank account clean per pay period....He had our energy bill shut off and refused to take the children when they had no place to stay while it was off."

Document this to prove his unfit.

"He's angry and berates me everyday"

Record it and let him know you are doing it to deter him.

" he only wants to pay me 800 dollars in child support and b) he doesn't want everyone to know his dark little dirty secrets."

Without concrete evidences, forget about adultery. Work with an attorney to see that CS offer is fair, and how much visitations he should have that you will be OK with. If any marital property/debt, the attorney will let you know how much each one shares. The good news is he seems to let you be the custodian parent and you should count your blessing for this.

Thank you for your help. I have everything documented what me and my children have been going thru. I also filed for divorce on wednesday and my lawyer said at our next court hearing that she was going to file a motion that the RO be taken up in divorce court and it will probably cost him more money because this time he would have to pay for the RO as well as attorney fees. The only thing in the RO that's true is me calling him begging for money and the pictures but we listed that under one of the five statues on cruel and inhumane treatment. STBX also stated that he would not be dropping the RO until he gets what he wants which is joint custody of the kids as well as eight hundred dollars in child support. I was gonna accept it because I don't want to fight anymore but my lawyer said let him have it because I would get 1300 dollars in child support according to the state. Trust me when I say he doesn't want our kids, the way he has treated them this summer... I don't know who he is anymore. When I tried to drop them off with him when we had no energy service, he shot twenty dollars at me and told me he had something to do.The look of devestation on my kids face... It was awful. I'm pretty sure he has his own place with his new girlfriend. If he has been spending money on her and for their new place, could we file a motion and seek compensation for that? He has not paid me any support for this month and refuses to. I'm hoping this goes away real soon. Again, thank you so much for your help.