DivorceNet®

So, California Child Support, I understand (in theory), and I understand annulments. But divorce, I've not dealt with, so I have a few questions from a friend.

So here's a situation in California (I don't think it matters that it's the bay area)
Married for 15 years
She worked while he went to school and has been a stay at home mom of two for at least 10 years.
There are no real assets - they own one car and have a pile of debt.
She asked him to leave - he did, has been staying with friends.
She has primary custody of the kids, although he has open access to them and regularly visit.
Accusations, and some responsibility acknowledged for mistreatment during the length of marriage.

So the questions are - in light of no assets, is mediation the best route?
The children live with her, she's home, and he travels a lot for work, so she will probably retain custody.

Who pays? Since he isn't the one to chose to leave, can he be forced to pay for mediation or the divorce? His salary is mid - level management - but not a lot by way of salary, can she really get spousal support?

Can one party file for divorce before meeting with a mediator, or should one or both parties meet with a mediator prior to filing? (There apparently is no chance of reconciliation according to one party).

Technically, even if he doesn't want it, she can get the divorced finalized, even if he has an attorney fighting it right? If there are no assets to haggle over, and the only thing is custody, she can ask for a temporary order with the custody/child support while finalizing the divorce - is this right?

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

Spousal support is based on a lengthy criteria. A few are age, ability to work, education and previous salary. Since she worked 8 of the last 10 years, their respective salaries will play an important role. Also, it appears he may have only worked for the last couple years; that can also be important. Only a local attorney could weigh all the factors.

She can get divorced against his will;it just has a couple extra steps and takes a little longer.

A temporary order for child support can be established now.

Mediation is always going to be cheaper if there are issues disagreed on.

Life could become difficult very quickly; it usually won't be possible to financially survive on child support alone. She is going to have to evaluate how she is going to increase her income by either working, or increasing her skills, and possibly both at the same time.

I can only speak for LA county and my experience. The person who files will pay of course. But you can seek to have the other party pay but that is usually more in matters of differences of income as to there being court ordered fees paid or split. I have had this ordered on 2 occassions along the way of my divorce, but he has not honored those payments so I still had to pay them.

Mediation is free there is no cost to use it. So I do recommend it.

And they often want to get Custody/Support orders in place ASAP, that was the first thing we handled in my mediation, if its not settled there then it will go to court where you can both represent yourselves and bring all your info or you can hire attorneys.

Just because he left doesnt obligate him to pay. As I said, if she wants to file, she should expect to pay the fees for her end. Filing fees mostly for court papers if she doesnt have an attorney. I hired a paralegal at first to set me up with the initial paperwork in my divorce which was cheaper then a lawyer. At that time it was around $350. She filed my paperwork for me and gave me the stuff I needed. I also had to get him served, and had a relative do this to save on a process server.

Also salary doesnt matter, its a portion determined off the amount of time married for spousal. Doesnt matter if he made minimum wage, its determined off a percentage.

Yes you can file for a divorce before meeting with a mediator. I used a paralegal, you can use a lawyer or you can do it yourself and drop the paperwork off at the court house on your own to get it going.

And yes you can get divorced even if the other party doesnt want it.

And yes you can get temp custody and support orders. I first filed, then later went to court for mediation, free of charge and had my custody/vistitation/support orders established, a temp order.

Thanks for all of the answers.

Private mediation is NOT free, but I highly recommend it. For a few hundred dollars they handle everything.

If they can't agree on mediation, and the judge does not see her as being unreasonable, he will absolutely have to pay her entire legal bill since he has been paying all bills for the last 10 years.

I don't know why someone stated that spousal support is not based on incomes, but they are wrong. How else would there be celebrity wives getting $25K/month. I believe Dissomaster spits out that number as well. CS reduces SS, however.

The SS for life thing is a bit overstated. After 10 years, the courts retain jurisdiction for life, meaning either party can come back and argue a new case if circumstances change. If you hit the lottery, you could end up paying more SS.