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I was told there is a calculator/formula that tells me what I should get back, but I can't find it.

We bought a house for 425K (Aug 04). We put money down from the sale of our previous house and 31K of my own money from a premarital separate account. The original loan was 292K. We refinanced in April 05 for 303.5K and took out 50K in Nov. 07 as line of credit. We currently owe 327K (both loans) and are selling the home for $350K. Closing is right around the corner. She previously agreed to me taking any profit (she moved out & I fixed it up). Now she's changing her mind.

How much are you getting after closing costs? You should be able to deduct the $31K from premarital funds. You will then show a loss in the $20K area. Tell her if she wants to split the "profit," she can pay you $10k....her share of the loss.

After closing costs, it appears to be around 18K back in "profit."

Does income matter? During the 5 years we lived here, I made about 285K and she made about 95K. She has gone back to work full-time now and will make about 42K and I'll be making about 62K.

Are you referring to the chance of having to pay alimony? It will play no bearing on the separation of assets.

no in regards to alimony (pendente lite hearing the judge did not award her alimony, I filed for divorce due to her adultery).

With virginia being an equitable state, I'm wondering if she could get the money because I make more and would be able to withstand not getting all of it. She is arguing that she has paid on the mortgage and is entitled to half of the "profit."

Let do the math. 425 - 31 = 394K. I assumed your previous home's profit is around 100K since the original loan is almost 294K. Your 31K is separate money and she can't touch it. You need to add this amount to yours and subtract it from hers in the FINAL amount of marital distributions.

I don't understand how you can come up with any "profit" out of 23K difference. Don't you have to pay the realtor or share any closing cost with the buyer? Make sure you include all expenses related to selling of the house.

Don't count too much on the pendente lite since it's only temporary order. Depends on the length of your marriage, it has to be over 10 years for the court to award any alimony.

"I'm wondering if she could get the money because I make more and would be able to withstand not getting all of it"

Money from where? You mean other than the house's profit? If any profit from the marital home, she will get some depend on how much she contributed, labor and money.

"She is arguing that she has paid on the mortgage and is entitled to half of the "profit.""

Only if she contributed half of it.

"Don't count too much on the pendente lite since it's only temporary order. Depends on the length of your marriage, it has to be over 10 years for the court to award any alimony."

We were married for almost 9 years.

"I don't understand how you can come up with any "profit" out of 23K difference. Don't you have to pay the realtor or share any closing cost with the buyer? Make sure you include all expenses related to selling of the house."

We have a "profit" because we have no realtor. They buyer heard about our divorce and approached us about selling the home, so I was able to avoid getting a realtor. After all is said and done with closing costs, we get a check for about 18K. I feel the 18k should be mine.

"If any profit from the marital home, she will get some depend on how much she contributed, labor and money."

How is her monetary contribution determined? labor was zero.

"We were married for almost 9 years."

You may be off the hook unless she is unable to earn an income. Even if you will, the alimony won't last very long. Keep your fingers crossed.

"I feel the 18k should be mine."

In a divorce case, what you feel or what she feels has no value. Marital property will be ironed out by both sides and "equitable" distribution will be determined based on contributions of labor and money into that pool. Your attorney and you should agree on what to be a fair settlement for the other side OR the court to accept.

"How is her monetary contribution determined?"

Well, you have to produce evidences of who was paying what during marriage.

"labor was zero."
You have to learn to be reasonable or the court or the other side won't accept your version. I just don't believe a married couple for 9 years and one didn't do any labor around the house or any physical/emotional affection/action to support the other spouse AND the kids (if any).

When I referred to labor, I used a narrow definition with a narrow concept. I was only referring to actual physical labor in fixing/updating the 30 year old home. I did this because I was only thinking about getting money from the sale of the home. There was physical/emotional affection/action that supported the kids. As far as any of that being channeled to me, very little to none. She cheated on me for six of those nine years with at least three different people and those are the only ones I can prove. The three years that she was "faithful," were at a different home. I know I sound bitter, and I am, but can you blame me?

I don't think it matters who was paying the mortgage on the house. If it did, then all stay at home parents would get nothing upon divorce.

"I was only referring to actual physical labor in fixing/updating the 30 year old home. I did this because I was only thinking about getting money from the sale of the home."

Only when you can convince the judge that she didn't do any cleaning, housekeeping, decorating,..etc. I understand that there are some irresponsible/lazy spouses out there but it's impossible for one to not doing absolutely nothing (zero) from any of those. You must learn to give her some credits.

"There was physical/emotional affection/action that supported the kids. As far as any of that being channeled to me, very little to none."

Then why did you wait for so long?

"The three years that she was "faithful," were at a different home. I know I sound bitter, and I am, but can you blame me? "

Well, her adultery/bad behavior during marriage can play a small factor in judge's decision regarding property distribution but it can't be used 100% to cut one spouse off from entitlement. You may separate different houses but the result of those 3 faithful years would be channeled/mingled into the new house. Therefore, you can't completely eliminate her contributions.

No, it's not about blaming as you put it. It's all about fairness and looking at things objectively no matter how bitter you feel. In court, if you don't appear being fair and reasonable, you can get punished for being vindictive. So act wise and don't let resentment getting into you.

I finally got an answer from my attorney. I get 21 1/2% off the top and then we split the rest.

That's why it's called "equitable distribution". You put in more, you will get more. As long as you are happy with it, that's all that's matter. Good luck.

my "wife" said she'd agree to this if I throw in our 2008 honda odyssey. However, I must assume the remaining debt on the car (23K)! According to my attorney, with the car in the "deal": At closing, she gets $4,891.76 and I have $14,237.96 in debt.

This is not very clear. If the car loan debt is 23K and you are responsible for 14K, then she must have shared 9K of the debt? It's reasonable if you earned more than her.

DVD, I think this is the balance after they split the profit from the sale of the house, and the accounting for the 23K debt on the car.