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I don't think it matters who was paying the mortgage on the house. If it did, then all stay at home parents would get nothing upon divorce.

"I was only referring to actual physical labor in fixing/updating the 30 year old home. I did this because I was only thinking about getting money from the sale of the home."

Only when you can convince the judge that she didn't do any cleaning, housekeeping, decorating,..etc. I understand that there are some irresponsible/lazy spouses out there but it's impossible for one to not doing absolutely nothing (zero) from any of those. You must learn to give her some credits.

"There was physical/emotional affection/action that supported the kids. As far as any of that being channeled to me, very little to none."

Then why did you wait for so long?

"The three years that she was "faithful," were at a different home. I know I sound bitter, and I am, but can you blame me? "

Well, her adultery/bad behavior during marriage can play a small factor in judge's decision regarding property distribution but it can't be used 100% to cut one spouse off from entitlement. You may separate different houses but the result of those 3 faithful years would be channeled/mingled into the new house. Therefore, you can't completely eliminate her contributions.

No, it's not about blaming as you put it. It's all about fairness and looking at things objectively no matter how bitter you feel. In court, if you don't appear being fair and reasonable, you can get punished for being vindictive. So act wise and don't let resentment getting into you.

I finally got an answer from my attorney. I get 21 1/2% off the top and then we split the rest.

That's why it's called "equitable distribution". You put in more, you will get more. As long as you are happy with it, that's all that's matter. Good luck.

my "wife" said she'd agree to this if I throw in our 2008 honda odyssey. However, I must assume the remaining debt on the car (23K)! According to my attorney, with the car in the "deal": At closing, she gets $4,891.76 and I have $14,237.96 in debt.

This is not very clear. If the car loan debt is 23K and you are responsible for 14K, then she must have shared 9K of the debt? It's reasonable if you earned more than her.

DVD, I think this is the balance after they split the profit from the sale of the house, and the accounting for the 23K debt on the car.