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My ex-wife and I had agreed to an out of court settlement agreement 4 years ago, where I agreed to pay $600 child support for each of my two children. My first child (16 years old) has severe disabilities and two years ago was placed in a group home where all of his needs are met by Medicaid and around the clock nursing. My other child (13 years old) moved in with me 11 months ago, due to poor grades (hard on a working single Mom to do a full days work and come home to homework) and this past year since he has lived with me, has been an honor roll student. I have paid all school lunch fees and most importantly, have paid all child support the past 4 years. Do I have a chance at modifying a out of court settlement? Do I have to go through the mediation process? I feel taken advantage of as my ex uses the majority of the support money for herself.

You're going to have to clarify. What exactly does your order (you got a divorce, so there is an order, right?) state about the kids and CS?

I think what Beaver is trying to find out, is, were the terms of this out of court settlement written and attached to the divorce order? Or is it actually a verbal agreement? If verbal, there is nothing to modify.

If attached to the divorce decree, then it's modifiable.

People in your situation often run into the unexpected when it come to modifying or reversing child support. Sometimes the CP is more than willing to hand over all the responsibility of child rearing without a court modified custody change, so long as the CS continues to come into their household. You may find yourself in custody battle.

Thnaks for your response.

The marital settlement agreement was attched to the court order and states that regarding:

Custodial & Residential Designation:
The wife shall be the primary residential custodial parent of the parties minor children.

Child Support:
The Husband shall pay through the Registry of the Court. The parties agree the child has siginficant disbilities which will likely require child support to extend past the age of 19, then the court shall determine the amount and duration of further child support.

Choice of Law & Governing Law:
In the event any dispute arises concerning this Agreement, the parties mutually agree that either party may apply to the Circuit Court ... for recourse.

My ex-wife could not handle or provide, nor could I ... the level of care my disbled son needs and that is why he is in a group home. In order to prevent a custody battle, I am more than willing to pay the $600 a month for the son who lives with me. But should I be paying her $600 a month for a child that the State provides for?

Again, thank you for your input.

"But should I be paying her $600 a month for a child that the State provides for?"
Maybe. There are states that make parents pay a portion of such costs and/or start REALLY going after unpaid CS when a child somehow becomes dependent on the state. Do you know for sure whether or not your ex is being made to pay anything?

I think your question is moot, though. You want to avoid a battle. Do you imagine that if you try to take away $600/month from your ex there will NOT be a battle, custody or otherwise?

The group home is paid for by SSI and medical bills are paid by Medicaid. There is no contribution from her. We established a special needs trust before the divorce for him and any incidentals or unpaid doctor bills are paid for by the special needs trust. Every so often she, as do I, will bring him new clothing and that is it.

She volunteered to place him in the group home, understanding that he needs around the clock care. I don't mind the battle, just refuse to fight a battle that I know I can't win. Not sure how a judge would look at such a situation. He hasn't been at her residence for two years, her contribution for his bed, care & feed is provided for by outside agencies.

I would not look to stop the Child Support for the one who lives with me, as I believe that is where the real custody battle would be. Would leave that one untouched.

"I would not look to stop the Child Support for the one who lives with me, as I believe that is where the real custody battle would be."
That's the easy one, though. Generally (though by no means always), de facto primary custody for 6-12 months will be made permanent by the court.

Talk to an attorney familiar with your judge. Find out what you can likely expect if you go to trial (expect to have to pay for the attorney's time). Then go talk to your ex and tell her: "Look, if I take this to court, I'll probably wind up with primary custody of the 13-year-old, and you'll be paying me $500/month in CS for that one, a net loss of $1700/month for you. I'm willing to settle for paying you $600/month in order to save the battle and legal fees." In my suggested proposal, I've made some assumptions. You'll have to base your offer on what the attorney tells you.

Thanks.

Just to clarify. I am currently paying $1,200 a month for both boys. I am not looking for any Child Support from her. I just want to be able to drop the $600 child support payment I make to her, for my son who lives in the group home. I realize now I am best off not even bringing up the matter of the child who now lives with me, to the Judge. My ex is so combative, I have not even approached her on this subject. I was planning on just getting all the documents together, proving his residence of the past two years and filing with the court.

I guess the simple question is ... what are my chances on being able to eliminate the $600 child support payment on my son who lives in the group home?

Clarification: In the above paragraph ... 'proving his residence of the past two years' is a reference to my son in the group home.

"I am currently paying $1,200 a month for both boys."
Right, which is why if she were, hypothetically, paying you $500/month, it's a net loss of $1700/month for her.

"I am not looking for any Child Support from her. I just want to be able to drop the $600 child support payment I make to her, for my son who lives in the group home."
I get that. What I'm suggesting is that you find out what your likely outcome is if you litigate. It gives you a starting point for negotiation and a realistic set of expectations.

"I realize now I am best off not even bringing up the matter of the child who now lives with me, to the Judge."
Because . . ? I'm confused, because this is the one that I told you were likely to win based on 11 months of precedent. Besides, $600 is $600, whether it's designated as being for the older child or the younger one. Do you really think it's going to matter to your ex which label is on the money that is being taken away, or do you think it will matter to her THAT the money is being taken away?

"My ex is so combative, I have not even approached her on this subject."
Is this why you don't want to mention it to the judge?

"I was planning on just getting all the documents together, proving his residence of the past two years and filing with the court."
Do you think that having her served with this out of the blue is likely to make her any less combative? You know your situation better than I do, but your strategy confuses me.

"what are my chances on being able to eliminate the $600 child support payment on my son who lives in the group home?"
We can't really tell you. On the surface, it seems like you have a reasonable argument, but none of us is a licensed FL attorney, nor does any of us know who your judge is, much less his or her tendencies. If you want to find out what YOUR JUDGE is likely to do (which is what really matters, because things vary wildly from judge to judge), you should talk to an attorney who practices in that court.