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Don't be discouraged.

Let me just day first off, I would never advise anybody to enter into this type of agreement of splitting expenses and forgoing support. The better arrangement would be to settle on a below guideline amount, that would be more in line with expenses, if you think that guideline amount is too high. In your case, with 50/50 on paper and if you made a higher salary, chances are you would be paying support...so my statement is not relevant to your situation. Just a general opinion...been through it, doesn't work.

In your case, maybe I am over simplifying the solution, but it is there in the court order in black and white. It is written specifically that you split xyz expenses. He isn't contributing. You get your receipts and file contempt of the court order for x amt.

At this point, I wouldn't fool around with a custody change or child support etc. By the time you see a court room, you will rack up tons of attorney fees and your youngest will be over 16. What I would do, if it were I, file contempt on what the current court order states. He pays half of xyz. That is what your children are entitled to. And further, I would reword and modify the court order for clarification of the current order. Receipts of expenses that are ordered to be split in the court order will be submitted to the other party within 15 days and reimbursed within 30 days, or whatever you want to put for the amount of time.

Having it written that you are to split certain expenses holds up for contempt just as much as a child support order. Contempt of a court order is just that.

Thanks Belle! If I take him to court for contempt, I'm afraid he's going to come after ME for support. I know he can't afford legal services, and I can. I'm going to go talk to a lawyer and see exactly where I stand. Your reply definitely made me realize there IS some hope, though, and that my hands may not necessarily be tied.

What are the expenses (amount) that you have paid so far? Please measure that against attorney's fees because you may not get your fees back and then you may net less than you are aiming to get back from him. Attorneys aren't cheap in NJ or NY.