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My ex and I agreed that neither of us would pay child support, since we have joint custody (spelled out in decree). In the decree, however, we agreed to split all medical costs, clothes, and any miscellaneous expenses for kids. My ex is already gearing up to cut of my daughter once she turns 18. She'll still be in high school, PLUS she's going on to college afterwards. In the decree, he wanted it spelled out that he won't be responsible for college expenses, but is he allowed to just cut off his daughter at age 18 (medical, clothes, etc) because there's no child support order in place? She won't be able to work, since she'll be in a very intensive program of study, so I'd be responsible for everything for her, otherwise. Thanks.

http://www.njlawblog.com/2007/01/articles/divorce/when-is-a-child-emancipated/

Read this article for a better understanding of how it works in NJ. Since he's already given you the heads up what his intentions are, you might want to appeal to court now for the agreement to continue at least until she graduates H.S. The court will probably agree that H.S. graduation will precede the age cutoff. Who knows? They may also agree it should continue beyond until college is completed as the expenses you list are not college expenses.

When and where(county) were you divorced? Child Support is the right of the child. Your daughter cannot be emancipated without a Court Order. How did you get a judge to sign an order (decree) with what you've described? Where you represented by a lawyer?

Ocean County. And yes, the judge approved it all. We agreed to no child support, since we have joint custody. I believe that's fair. Our kids split their time between both houses. We put in our decree to split the cost of everything else.

No - the judge didn't even read it most probably. You cannot give up your child's right to child support, and even now, you can go into court, make a motion and be awarded child support and have him contribute towards college. The way the guidelines work, even if the time is split evenly, there will be c/s from the parent who is making more $ to the other. Contribution to college will be in proportion to income.

Further update and questions....since our decree states no child support, joint custody, how difficult would it be to GET full custody? My ex isn't an abusive father, but he doesn't want to follow the decree by splitting the cost of clothes, miscellaneous, etc. By getting custody, I could get child support, and I wouldn't have to fight him (or them fight him) to get them what they need. Do there have to be extenuating circumstances in order to get full custody? Thanks.

Nothing you have posted would indicate a change in custody.

How long has it been since the divorce? If it has been a couple of years, you can file to modify child support. If it is 50/50 physical, though, the parent who is making more will be the one who pays the child support. Which means if you make more, you pay your ex.

Why are you fighting? If you have 50/50 physical, you buy the clothes at your place and your ex buys the clothes at his place. There is no need to pack a bag for the child to take back and forth. They just go with the clothes they are wearing when he picks them up and vice versa. Medical costs should have been addressed in the original court order and if he isn't paying his share, you can take him to court for contempt.

We're fighting, because he refuses to buy them any clothes. Any $ spent on them is all done by me. Since the decree states we are to split the cost, he should be giving them some $ for clothes, as well. They come to me for everything, because they know he'll give them a hard time..over buying anything. I have 1 child living with me, and he has 1 living with him (teen girls who fight...this is how they wanted it for now). We both like the no support issue, but now he doesn't want to pay for ANYTHING for them. He sees it as me trying to control him...when all I want is for him to hold up to his end of the decree and buy them clothes when they need it! He hasn't bought them any clothes in over a year.

If the kids now are at my house more (5 days as opposed to his 2), can I get child support from HIM, even though I make more $? Thanks.

What was the split you agreed to in your decree? How did you spell it out exactly? Have you gone back to the lawyer that did your divorce?