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my ex (the cp) is seeking more support (1/2 daycare, 1/2 medical, 1/2 activities, etc...) from me even though my 20% covers pretty much everything in my daughter's life with a surplus. all this at a time where i'm set to take a 40% paycut (never work for the airlines!). she will make 20k/yr more than me when its all over not including any support. does anybody have any experience where a du page co. judge sides with the ncp and says that 20% is enough? my ex is living the easy life and i can't even afford to fix my old car! I understand the attempt in support is to preserve the standard of living of the child, but it is working in reverse here! help!

Nobody know what a judge thinks. The only way to find out is to file for a modification. That way, everything is updated and on the table. The risk is it could go either way. Your CS may be lowered due to paycut, but you could be required to share those "half" since they weren't addressed in the original order. Hope thing turns out to be fairer for you.

it just seems criminal that we have a 'justice' system that would allow me (a good father and, at the time, husband) to get my financial a** handed to me while my ex (who wanted the divorice because i'm not smart enough- how dumb can you be and be an airline pilot??) lives the good life? at what point does a judge say enough is enough?

bdad, I think in times of our economic distress, that a judge may be receptive to facts affecting income. I would not, of course, apply for a reduction prior to the actual reduction and I would gather up facts that will disprove that you're capable of earning the same salary with another company. Typically that may be true if other airlines were not laying off or reducing employee wages themselves. There may be other factors to present why it is more feasible to remain with your present position even at reduced wages. Any of the company benefits, for example, that will negatively affect your children (health plans or 401K's and life insurance that your children would be beneficiaries of) if you should quit the industry. Pointing out that moonlighting is not feasible as the wages were cut but not the hours.

You may be able to get a temporary reduction that could very well turn permanent, if the economic situation does not improve after a year or more.

I foresee a lot of CP's who are also suffering financial distress trying to recoup the differential by asking for additional child support to compensate. This is wrong, of course, but what I'm trying to point out is even if she will be making 20k more a year above yours at her present level of income she may actually not be seeking an increase. She may be hoping instead to prove that you're both suffering equivalent losses and that the judge will order the present support be stabilized as-is.

unfortunately, i know her motives. we had reached an agreement when we got divoriced that my child support would reduce from $1800/month to $1300/month when my daughter reached first grade. this is because, at the time, we had an au pair which was very expensive. we knew that once my daughter hit first grade, the au pair would go home and my daughter would attend a cheaper daycare option such as kinder care.well, the au pair left WELL before first grade but because we put a hard date on the agreement instead of the condition of the au pair leaving, my ex stuck with the $1800/month up till now and has been pocketing the rest. now that the support has dropped to $1300, she wants as much back as she can get so she is seeking 1/2 the daycare in addition to the $1300, which was our agreement. she's quite a piece of work, to say the least. so im facing a huge pay cut and a bigger support bill. the fun just keeps comming.

Under normal circumstances an au pair qualifies as a child support add-on (childcare). In New York courts, if one had a child in daycare, the NCP is "required" to contribute a pro-rated share over and above the regular support amount.

However, the CP must present "proof" that the money is being applied towards such an add-on. If she cannot validly prove the expense through cancelled checks/receipts paid to the au pair (or their agency), then the court will reduce or remove the add-on expense. Likewise if the services are still required, but to a lesser degree, the court will prorate your share to the true amount paid.

You would do well to request in advance from her the name, address, and taxpayer or employer ID. You could make inquiry anonymously or have another person do so, as if shopping for a daycare center and comparing rates, including discounts for paying monthly or cash. Arm yourself with the facts for true comparison.

If your court date is in a couple of months, and you counterfiled now asking for a reduction for the au pair amount "and" to have it retroactive to your date of filing, she will have to prove she used the au pair between your filing date and court date. If the court finds in your favor, she will need to reimburse you the difference for those months. It's unlikely you'll get credit or reimbursement before your filing date.

Will your pay cut take place prior to court? If you can show a true reflection of the pay cut -- by paycheck and notice from the employer -- the court may prorate your share of the daycare costs to less than half -- maybe 30 or 40%. Another argument may be that only the custodial parent is entitled to the child care credit from both the federal and the state and she will recoup some of the expense every year. This may be income dependent (I can't remember). Consult the IRS guidelines online to know for certain if she would qualify.