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I have so many problems I don't Know where to start.

Topic #1

I have primary custody...

If I want to take the kids to the Grand Canyon for a three day camping trip do I have to tell her we are leaving the state for a trip like that?

And can she veto our plans?

Because If she can she will...she's like that :crazy:

"If I want to take the kids to the Grand Canyon for a three day camping trip do I have to tell her we are leaving the state for a trip like that?"
If your order says you have to, then you do. If your order is silent, do what you like. It's POLITE to share that information with the other parent, but not required.

"And can she veto our plans?"
Only if the order says she can. Be careful, though. She may be able to give a de facto veto simply by keeping the kids and not returning them. If you think she might pull such a stunt, then don't tell her about your plans until you have the kids in your possession for the possession period in which you will take the trip.

"she's like that :crazy"
When having problems with my ex this past fall, I told some friends of mine, "Never f^(* a crazy woman." One of them replied, "But that's all of them." ;)