I too divorced in TN in 2007 after 24 years of marriage, 2 kids, 9 years at home, forfeiting my career for his after putting him thru school, going to school at night to finally get an Associates degree, etc. I spoke with 2 people who helped me make decisions in my best interest. One was a financial planner, the other a CPA.

I would recommend you take all your financial information to each and get their respective opinions. Then once you understand what you have, and what you're entitled to, take all the information to an attorney. Ask the attorney what you can realistically expect should you end up in a court battle. Then you'll know where you stand and you can make an informed decision. Choose an attorney outside your community so you don't get someone biased toward your husband. That is very common with business owners knowing others thru networking.

You are required to do a Marital Dissolution Agreement (MDA) listing all the assets, their value and the disbursement of each. This can be done prior to mediation but you will eventually be required to go to mediation before a judge will sign off on the MDA. Do you want to negotiate on your own with someone who has been preparing for years to take advantage of you? You are entitled to 50% of everything unless you agree to less. It sounds like you need a forensic accountant and a CPA capable of valuating a business. It may cost $5,000 but you may get $50,000 more in the end. Only you can judge that. I hear a lot of divorced people b*tch about their settlements and how they "lost" so much. In reality they chose not to educate themselves and made ignorant decisions. This has been true for men and women.

If you have not played the role of landlord and dealt with tennants up to this point, then the commercial building is nothing but an emotional and financial drain on you. It sounds like he doesnt want to deal with it either with the economy being what it is so he's offering it to you. Don't fall for this, too much work, too little reward.

Regarding alimony in TN, there are 3 types:

Permanent which is rare these days. Had you stayed home your entire marriage you would probably get it. Don't count on it because you'll never get a judge to agree to it.

Rehabilitative which means you get an amount for a period of time, usually 3-5 years. This is to get yourself established as a single person or go back to school to get a degree.

Alimony in solido is lump sum alimony. This can be an asset like a house, cash or a piece of retirement money from a 401k/pension.

It is common to get Rehabilitative and Alimony in solido. You can negotiate these in mediation. Whatever you negotiate the judge will usually rubber stamp. Judges don't like to deal with alimony.

You will not have the financial life you have now ever again. That is something you need to come to terms with. I ended up with 65% of the marital estate and I still don't have the lifestyle I had before. My money is tied up in retirement accounts by choice. I chose my Alimony in solido as a piece of his retirement account. I knew it would be tempting to spend a monthly alimony check on raising the children. It is always more expensive to raise them than to pay child support no matter what your income.

Your peace of mind and happiness are worth far more than any asset. Keep that in the back of your head when you're negotiating. This is a business negotiation. Take the emotions out of it and you won't have any regrets when it's over. And just so you know, my X was verbally abusive and I'm not far behind you in age! :-)