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[quote=BeaverFever]"a desision must be made"
About what, exactly?[/quote] you also replyed to that post that i did...lol

i have NO IDEA WHAT THE PI IS FOR.... like i said, she is loopy in the house....i have not in 1 1/2 yrs(thank goodness) ran into her outside the house, she is a drama queen and will just tick me off... she lives in the next town...i work 12 or more hrs a day, if i do call my child she makes excuses why i cant talk to my child...so i gave up on the calling.... i dont know exactly what im here for if not just to vent...i do thank you for your listening, and some outside input...my lawyer wont call me back, and this "episode" happend a week ago...no help from either lawyer or DHS...i just needed someone to tell me something i guess...thank you

"i dont know exactly what im here for if not just to vent"
There's a lot of that here. It's perfectly acceptable.

"thank you"
You're welcome. It seems to me that, based on what you've posted, it's in your child's best interest not to have Mom as the primary decision-maker in her life. That being the case, you need to win custody. Do you have a plan for doing that? Has your attorney given you any ideas about what works in your favor and what works against you? If so, has (s)he given you any idea what sort of evidence would be pursuasive?

"i have NO IDEA WHAT THE PI IS FOR"
I have a vision of you holding a conversation with the PI:
in_okla_2: Hi, I would like to hire you.
PI: What would you like me to do?
in_okla_2: Ummm...follow my wife around.
PI: Do you suspect infidelity?
in_okla_2: Well, we're in the midst of a divorce, and I know she's sleeping with one guy after another, but we had an open marriage before that, so I really don't need evidence of that.
PI: What do you need evidence of?
in_okla_2: Ummm...I don't know. My attorney just told me to hire a PI for 2-3 months.
PI: Is this a joke?

NOTHING REALLY, i have to come up with reasons"why i allowed my child to live there for the past 1 1/2 yrs " well, i didnt want my child to watch us argue...i didnt have proper living as she left my clothes in someone elses yard....NOW...geez, so much has gone on, that i was unaware of, even when i lived there....i see things that i hadnt seen before....i just wanted to keep a piecefull...house...and now i feel like i am loosing and she will win. i see now that people can become blinded in marriage...and tell all my friends "keep your receipts away from the house incase you have to prove you own anything, even though i worked and she didnt the 10 yrs"...my lawyer doesnt return my calls...i have used all my savings (now that she isnt around, i have money), and i just wanted someone to answer my questions...maybe i should have gotten the court appointed attny....i do feel like she is winning, everything is in her hands, i am the one who filed, i am paying for a lawyer, childsupport, i just feel like im (excuse me) am being screwed.....

I KNOW...THATS WHAT I THINK, R U SERIOUS? i have been with the same woman for this past 1 1/2 yrs. i dont know what the PI is for.... i do have documentation, i have witnesses, i have all these things...what would the PI do?

"why i allowed my child to live there for the past 1 1/2 yrs"
Your response is, "That's what was in the temporary order. I haven't tried to do anything before now because while I don't think she's a good parent, she wasn't doing anything directly harmful or negligent to the child. However, last week was the first time I've dropped the kid off that she has been clearly intoxicated."

You appear to have several things working against you:
1) You own a penis. Most courts consider the single most important factor in parenting to be the ownership of a vagina.
2) You left the house. I don't care what she called and told you, that was your house, and you had every right to be in it. There's nothing you can do about that now, but you should clearly understand your obstacles.
3) Mom has had primary custody throughout the temporary orders. Judges typically want to stick with the status quo, provided that the status quo is working. It's up to you to show that it's not.

You'll want to build a case around the following:
1) Mom likes to get doped up. Whether the pills are legal or not, Mom needs to be in command of her senses to care for a 6-year-old.
2) Mom runs boyfriends in and out of the house. Judges typically don't care how promiscuous the parents are, so long as they keep it where the kids can't see it. You need to show that it's an unstable situation.
3) You make more money than Mom. How does she pay her bills? Even with the child support, can she provide for herself, much less the kid?
There may be other things. You need to sit down and make a list of your pros and cons, and do the same for your wife. Figure out which of these are more important than the others and focus on getting evidence for your pros and her cons. For her pros (e.g. vagina) and your cons (e.g. work lots), assume she'll have evidence, and you'll need to be prepared to refute that evidence. Also be prepared to show why those things aren't really very important.

She pays bills by DISABILITY, and CHILDSUPPORT. Disability...is however i believe a fraud, but how do i prove it...how can i find out what its for? she tells lies, she has the landlord bring her food (working on his emotions, whitch she is good at coniving and sympothy) this i heard from my child "he sometimes brings us food, cause mommy doesnt have money"...oh i was PO'D....i am thinking of taking copies of the support to the landlord, but that would be "just to prove my side" like i said, she has another case of ... unfit parent, on her other child... i'm just kinda hoping that goes thru so i can use that too.... she sold my stuff and tells people "the divorce was final and i won this stuff, and i dont need it" so i filed contempt... is the "disability, something medical, that i can use for my advantage, does it hinder her ability to take car of my child? that is another question

If she claims disability, you have the right to know what the disability is and how it affects her parental ability. Your attorney should long ago have asked for discovery regarding her medical records generally and her disability specifically.

NOTHING IS BEING SAID TO me, like i said, it seems that i would be better off with a court appt....lol, my lawyer hasnt returned my call in a week and a half