My husband who was abusive and was sent to jail twice during our marriage, now wants a divorce....
He has been supporting me, well, helping me each week with about 200.00.....He does not make a lot of money but did....he had his own business on the side but won't do it now, for fear of having to give me more money, he told me this!!
He is from England and came here on a marriage visa and we married 4 years ago....we started the little business together, me working side by side with him....it was a carpentry business and we were doing well!
I was also working as a vendor for a card company, lifted a box and blew my back all to pieces, had surgery, did not work and am now going to a pain clinic...
The doc will not release me to work, due to the injuries and fear of the spine completely going....I have applied for disabilty but have been told it might be next year before I get a court date....I do have an attorney....
My husband became very verbally, mentally abusive because I could NOT work and then physcial abusive....he was very careful not to hurt the back for fear of getting caught, but slapped me, hit me, kicked my legs, pulled hair, etc. Even went as far as 2 times putting his hands around my neck and telling me he culd kill me...He is very strong and I have no doubt that he could have!
He says I put him in jail...I did not his abusive actions and anger put him in jail!
I feel he came here for a Green Card because as soon as he got it the abuse got much worst....
He is not living here, he has an apt....in another city about 30 miles away!
There is not much to devide, I owned the house when I met him(In my name only) and had little debt, now i am swimming in debt due to him buying a van and a truck and tools....NO WAY to pay, my credit is ruined by him!
I have pain 24/7 and am on strong narcotics....I know in my heart I was a good wife to him even after the injury at work....
I think he just does not want the responsiblty of having a disabled wife who can no longer work....
I am devasted at what has happen, I was willing to forgive him IF he got help, but he has been to 2 anger management courses and seemed to be worst after each....I cannot take him back into my home now and he doesn't want to come, he told me he is enjoying the *single life* and not having to do anything when he gets home but watch TV!!
My quesion is, when we divorce will I be able to get maintenace???? I have NO INCOME now except what he gives me and I am going to have the vechicles repossesed if he won't get to work and give me more!
I think the reason he is supporting me, is due to the fact he is afraid I will notify immigration if he doesn't....but I can't prove that he came here for a Green Card....
I was head over heels in Love with this man and he is breaking my heart into....
But if I do get the disabilty, I won't be able to pay all the bills still, but if I can get some money from him each week, I can barely make it, I Pray!! (with the disabilty, which I can't see how I won't get)
I know this state is not big on maintenance but my situation is a little different from most, I was hurt while we were married and he has been giving me money since Jan of this year!
He is very verbally abusive to me every week when he brings me the money, but thank goodness he does bring it....but he leaves each time with me crying my eyes out!
I told him to file for divorce but he wants to wait and i found out why....because he just got the GC recently if he files for divorce they might investigate him....and I talked to an attorney and he advised me to keep him in this country for as long as possible to pay these bills, and so I could get some money from him....
It is bad to hit your wife, any woman but to hit a disabled woman is the worst, IMO.....
He has broken me, money wise, heart wise and emotionally.....
I have been reading but never posted before....he says he is not going to try to take my house, etc but only wants what is his personally....he came here to a fully furnished home, a car and anything I could give him, I did...
What do you think?? I read and printed from this site the reasons for on going maintance and disabled is one of them....even if I only could get 150.00 a week and he has been giving me 200.00 a week many times, but this would help me so much....since my abilty to work, as much as I WANT to has been taken away!!
Being a short marriage might hurt me, but might not in this situation....???????
I am so sorry this is so long, but I have so much bottled up inside, I need to get it out, I am very scared!! I had a good little job, worked 3 jobs for years....and now look at me.....I am not asking for pity, just advise....
Thank you in advance,
memorize (please excuse typos, I am on strong meds)
Also, jumping from one thing to another, but the anxiety of this is really killing me along with the pain!!
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