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Hello, I am new here and I have a situation in which I don't think I am alone. I'd like to ask for input / advice from anyone who has been through this or is going through this or knows someone in the same situation..... The nutshell version: Benton County, AR - my stbx and I have lived here completely separately for 2 years now. Our 2 children (9 & 11) live with me and we have followed an amiable and generous visitation schdedule. Stbx: Not employed (disabled right after we got married and will never be employed), drinks, smokes: (inside house, inside car and around children), lives with his mother in 2 bdrm rent house, is addicted to HEAVY prescription narcotics, has episodes where he "looses his mind" completely and turns into a vegetable. Me: Stable long time well paying job, no smoking or drinking, healthy just trying to be happy. I've been dating a man for a year now. We got engaged and we moved in together 8 months ago. HE is a hard working, supportive, clean (no smoking no drinking)very kind, and loving person. He gets along well with my kids and they like him. He pays half or more of the bills here and is generous with supporting my children as well. It has become the life I've always wanted. Stbx has had no problem with the living arrangement and I have encouraged him to talk to me about it and keep communication open for the benefit of the kids. I've had bare bones div papers (not even asking for child support) drawn up that he agreed to sign but has decided to drag his feet now. He's told me that he's taking them to different lawyers to look over. I figure most of them are throwing him out b/c he is not reputable for paying his bills. The latest, however, is that he gave his paprs to his sister (part of a VERY nosy, think the world owes them everything type of family). Now the sister has taken the papers to her lawyer and no telling what kind of nonsense she is telling him. Suddenly the stbx will not talk to me so I wonder if he plans to fight me now for custody? Ok - here's my question: Will the fact that I am living with my fiancee give the x an edge if it comes to a custody case even though he is the world's biggest loser and my fiancee is supporting the kids more than the x ever did? Thanks for listening.....

In all likelihood, it will be a net of zero. Dating and living with someone while married to someone else isn't going to do you any favors (I don't know how AR law looks at it), but if he's stable, supportive, and good to your kids, that will likely mitigate the negative.

I doubt he could get custody. But, with you the breadwinner, he disabled and unemployable after you got married, along with an apparent fairly long marriage, I suspect he may be after alimony.

Thank you for your input, I truly appreciate it. Yeah, he and the whole family are the type to always place the blame for all problems away from the real issue. I can see him thinking I owe him more money after all of the baloney that went on for 10+ years even though I am paying for everything for our kids.... school, medical, activities, clothes that get mysteriously "lost" when they go to his house...... I tell ya what though.... as long as my children are still living with me I could care less about alimony. They are more important than anything to me.