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I think my wife is suffering from premenopause and depression from her job pay cut...but she is blaming it all on me...Should I ride the tide with her..Or grant her the divorce shes been asking for, kep in mind we have three small kids 9,6,4..

Welcome to Hell if you get divorced in Minnesota. The laws are heavily stacked against the non-custodial parent. You might want to check on http://www.divorceprep.com/ if you want to have any custody or income left after child support and/or alimony. Here is the typical settlement after you split your assets (with 3 kids):

Child support will be 35% of your net (after tax) income.
You will file single from now on, putting you into the most heavily taxed category.
You will pay for 100% of medical insurance if it doesn't say otherwise in your decree.
You will pay for 50% of the daycare, and if your ex's income is below $33,000, the state will pick up most of her share, and you don't get to deduct any of it for tax purposes.
Expect to keep 40-50% of your current net pay for the next 14 years. If you have to pay alimony also, you will keep even less.

If you get raises in the future or a 2nd job, taxes and CS will eat up more than 1/2 of it.

It could be coincidence, but your wife going to part time is the leading "clue" your she has seen an attorney, and is planning a divorce.

child support reaches a limit. My husband is in the 6 figure income bracket and will pay a total of 2450. for two children per month- so that is no where near 35% of his net after income tax. My husband works in ND and already has a new partner and has no interest in seeing his children, so they will be with me 100 percent of the time.
Instead of planning for a divorce why don't you see if she is willing to go to counseling either by herself initially and hopefully together if you want to work on your marriage.
I gather from you question she didn't voluntarily go to part time but was cut to part time.
If there is still hope for your marriage try working on it before jumping to a divorce.

"My husband is in the 6 figure income bracket and will pay a total of 2450. for two children per month- so that is no where near 35% of his net after income tax."

Well, with the median income of about $31K/year in MN, your CS, if it were a taxable income, is about 100% of the average full time employee in MN. There's a reason for a $1225/cap per child. CS for children. If you take 35% of a million, it's not CS anymore. It's alimony. And, if you are getting the maximum CS, there's a high probability you are getting alimony too.

Beyond that, this post is 3 years old; expect the divorce is probably long since over.