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My ex husband and I divorced 3 years ago. The divorce was finalized in Kansas. He was active duty Army (still is) and asked me to let him have sole custody so the army would see it as a "hardship" and he would then try to get honorably discharged. We agreed, verbally worked out visitation, no child support or alimony was ordered on either end. At the time he was living in KS still and I moved to OH. We were successfull in sharing the time equally since the children were not yet school age. Then he got orders for Korea.

For the past 2 years, he's been in Korea and has very very little communication with the children and has only been able to visit 1 time for 1 week. Since that time, I've had physical custody, the children are school age, and have been attending the same school for 2 years. This week he is back in the US for good and will go on to live in Oklahoma for the time being.

I want to modify my divorce decree so that I have sole custody, with reasonable visitation for him as appropriate to the distance. Where do I start? Do I have to do this through KS courts or can Ohio take care of this. We are niether KS residents, but that's who had jurisdiction. PLEASE HELP. I'm worried he will want to come back and uproot my children from everything they've been used to for the past 2 1/2 years.

Thanks in advance!

The state that the kids have resided in for the past 6 months is considered the "home state" of the child and would have jurisdiction in Custody and Support matters. Look up the UCCJA/UCCJEA and depending on what your kids current "home state" is would dictate which of these 2 acts would apply. Also, since the kids have been with you all this time and he left them with you to go to Korea, that is considered a "change in circumstance" and a Modification to Custody and Support should have been done as soon as he got orders for Korea!

You should be able to get custody switched to you. Good luck.

"I want to modify my divorce decree so that I have sole custody"

I'm confused. I thought you already had sole custody.

It sounds like you want to establish an official parenting schedule. Have you talked with him first? Are you in agreement?

He was active duty Army (still is) and asked me to let [b]him[/b] have sole custody so the army would see it as a "hardship" and he would then try to get honorably discharged.

I understand now. Changing custody varies from state to state; in mine there are 13 different factors that are looked at. You probably would be successful in the change, however, I would see an attorney ASAP. I know that if he moved close to you (as in the same school district), he could come and get the kids today as the CP, and there's nothing you could do about it......and with the potential length of custody trials, he could be established as the CP by the time it was over. Him still living far away is to your advantage.